The Best Nothing

Beer Pong and Gibsonators 2011

2011-10-15T14:06:00.011-06:00

75 cans/bottles, 2 Gibson's 26's, one wine bottle. That's more empties than the idiot who tried to kick field goals. It doesn't have to make sense.

Simultaneous photo collage:

As far as beer pong results went, everyone did their best to ensure Ryan and I retained the trophy again. Clearly Karma doesn't exist based on the taunting I give out and just can't lose this thing. Maybe it was just our superior skills, strategy, and costumes. Sorry that Dean's championship run ended this year due to Ryan's return.

NickLynn finished the round robin in first with a surprise win over Got Wood. Got Wood got revenge though with wins in the playoffs which included 2 victories over NickLynn and Cassie's terrible attempts to blow everything out. In-Laws started strong and faded, as usual, losing repechage #1. Ponies finished in third and probably would have won, had it not for me cheating, making up rules, and faking injuries to get people kicked out. Right Mel? Random disintegrated throughout the night. Gingervitis lost big a few games and it cost them. Meat Parade did not win a game.

Awards:
MVP: Ryan, hits winning shot
Best Team name: Never Ending Meat Parade
Worst Team maybe ever: Never Ending Meat Parade (0 wins)
Most Roster moves: Team Random (7 signings, 2 trades, 5 waived)
Most complete game round robin victories: Got Wood? (3)
Worst beer pong throwing technique: Jen
Best distractor: Amy
Worst blower: Cassie
Best distraction: Matt's butt squeeze / gut extension
Most sportsmanlike: Ryan and Alex for refusing to win by goaltending call in the final vs. Nick Lynn
Least sportsmanlike: Mel for fighting legit calls, even when she wasn't playing
Worst person alive: Brad, for disrespecting the spirit of the event and bringing A&W
Most pregnant: Angie, slightly edging out Matt

Ideas for next year:
-Keep 9 minute time limit
-Less games
-2 teams, Ryan and I captain and we draft from everyone there. People take turns playing.

Captain Planet

2011-09-07T21:41:00.003-06:00

Don Cheadle is Captain Planet from Don Cheadle

Bale Animated

2011-03-23T19:39:00.001-06:00

Artsy do-up of Bale performances in the Champs League 2011 group stages against Inter Milan. Get the Oscar for best short ready.

Old Man Spearing

2011-03-21T11:20:00.004-06:00

I'm not really sure who Jay Spearing is because I haven't seen him before, but from my first sight of him, he looks like a dead ringer for Benjamin Button when he was 20/60. Seriously, I hope this is just him in a bad moment.

EPIC MXC Fail

2011-03-10T22:56:00.002-06:00

PeeWee on Coco

2011-03-10T22:47:00.000-06:00

Tron Lebowski

2011-03-01T23:01:00.001-06:00

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Maybe the greatest gif ever

2011-02-18T13:22:00.000-06:00

The two things I love

2011-02-18T13:17:00.000-06:00

Bacon in Sign Language

2011-02-13T16:08:00.001-06:00

The answer to Matt Cooke

2011-02-09T23:19:00.002-06:00

Expulsion. Seriously, would anyone miss him? These videos are a whole 3 days apart from one another.

In related news, Marc Savard is done for the year after his concussion recurred from this hit.

Between Zach and Tila

2011-02-09T22:33:00.001-06:00

Is Jennifer Aniston.

Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis: Tila Tequila from Between Two Ferns

How long did they scrub video to find this exact frame? How glad am I that they did? Seriously, it's like a film poster from a lost Tropic Thunder parody movie. And the timing...oh the delicious timing.

2011-02-01T06:06:00.000-06:00

PS- this post isn't from Alex. It's from Brett. And I want to go on record saying that I've always totally hated Torres. I've never liked him. Ever. You can ask anyone. Seriously. What a douche.

Facebook status fail

2011-01-27T23:38:00.002-06:00

I cracked up at this so hard, almost lost my shit on the bus next to several people.

FIFA Goal of the Year 2010

2011-01-11T21:26:00.004-06:00

Hamit Altintop for Turkey.

I hope they buried him under the field

2010-12-21T13:59:00.003-06:00

It's what he would have wanted.

Brett Favre's chalk outline after getting creamed for the last time.

Jokinen's waffle

2010-12-19T14:56:00.001-06:00

Probably thinks about waffles all game.

Club World Cup Semis

2010-12-14T19:43:00.001-06:00

I have a new favourite goalie. Please tell me he did that all game and still got the shutout.

The definition of pwn3d

2010-12-11T00:39:00.001-06:00

plays it off the back of the goalie's helmet and in.

Die Pigs!

2010-12-09T12:39:00.001-06:00

Angry birds comedy video.

MMA celebration

2010-12-01T20:47:00.000-06:00

That's one way to do it.

A social commentary for some reason

2010-11-25T13:43:00.002-06:00

I'm my own moderator here, bam! I really shouldn't have read this article because now I've waded into this stupid debate.

In reference to this: http://www.sovereignman.com/expat/tip-of-the-spear/

Maybe Sovereign man should use his sovereignty to use a car/bus/train if he doesn't like the TSA's tactics. I mean, freedom is his ultimate cause, no?

I think this guy has such a narrow view of the world to make assumptions the gover-boogey man is out to get him. And though the TSA and other government agencies like them might act overly paranoid, so is the fear that your country is going to turn into 1984.

Look at it rationally. The US went through a major terrorist act (as have others) and their government has been blamed for it, to an extent. And now other threats of shoe bombers and crotch bombers et al have appeared. If we make a simple assumption that no government wants a major terrorist act on their watch, then of course they are going to inconvenience everyone for that sake.

Having worked in the airport security industry, I know something that most people don't. There is a huge side-effect of even demonstrating that security principles are in place even if they aren't accomplishing anything. Despite "the fact is that body scanners are as ineffective at threat detection as metal detectors" (is this just common knowledge or is he an expert?), even if x-ray machines (for baggage or for people) were just showing re-runs of Alf to the operators, they would still be a huge deterrent to anyone who is planning a terrorist act. If your goal was to blow up or hijack a plane, and you thought you would be caught going through security, then it obviously wouldn't be smart doing it; your goal wouldn't be accomplished and you would be putting your group at risk. So the TSA isn't actually worried about a 5 year old girl being a terrorist, but by demonstrating security principles that show that even she could/would be caught, then this adds a layer of deterrence to those would-be terrorists.

Has anyone in this debate considered how many people would still fly if they dropped airport security all together? Does that appeal to the crowd that is now so anti-TSA? Let's turn the security knob back down to 0, where maybe it was in the 40's or 50's (don't know, assuming it was close to 0). Paranoia would go sky high. If a muslim stepped on a plane everyone would clear ship. Airlines would go under.

Do we really think the government would have changed security principles from pre-911 if the past decade's terrorist threats didn't happen? At what point can Americans blame terrorists for acting to diminish their rights? The government trying to protect its citizens and businesses is the only one to blame here? Come on.

If someone wants to complain about the ratcheted up security principles that are in place, fine. That is their right. The government acknowledges that right. They still have the right to vote along a line that run counters to the TSAs current principles. And they still have the right to not fly. If Americans want less intrusiveness in their airport security, I can understand that. I just don't get the paranoia over the US turning into a police state where you can't take a dump without being asked for ID. The cause and effect relationship on this topic seems to have completely been thrown out the window.

Americans can look around them and find hundreds of examples where government regulation takes place and where it benefits them and adds to their freedom. Freedom to drive on roads and have working power for appliances that don't short circuit and freedom to know their houses aren't going to cave in on them and that their gas lines aren't going to explode and that they're not on the hook to put out a fire. I don't see how there's enough hours in the day to have to worry about all the things the government does if it wasn't there.

So if more government and more regulation and more security is a bad thing, at what point does less of these things become a bad thing? That's something that has never been made clear to me.

Halak own goal

2010-11-18T22:21:00.000-06:00

Swats it into his own net.

Wow, worst soccer miss ever

2010-11-16T21:08:00.001-06:00

Get caught trying to look cool scoring a tap-in goal and that's when you get into trouble.

Best of Conan

2010-10-19T23:23:00.002-06:00

Has some hilarious stuff I've never seen before.

The Best of Conan - watch more funny videos

Zach's Ferns

2010-10-13T23:36:00.001-06:00

Back with Bruce Willis.

Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis: Bruce Willis from Bruce Willis

McKenzie's Cajones

2010-10-08T11:46:00.002-06:00

From tsn.ca's Bob McKenzie...

So I don't try to make myself any better or worse than the many hockey fans, especially in Edmonton, who took great pleasure in seeing MacIntyre first bloody, then brain damage Ivanans. But the one distinction I will make is this: In the UFC, the point of the fight is the fight. That is the essence of it. It's the whole gladiator thing, which is probably as old as humanity.

I don't think you can say the same thing about MacIntyre-Ivanans, can you? Really?

I mean, the point of hockey is to use speed, skill, hitting and yes, in some instances, fighting to score more goals than the other team.

I admire Bob's cajones for being someone in hockey critical of such behaviour. Especially with the likes of Cherry, Milbury, and others who would be ready to jump all over you for it.

Schwartzman for New Yorker App

2010-09-30T23:48:00.002-06:00

Now this is how you advertise.

Poor Robbie

2010-09-30T23:25:00.005-06:00

How the mighty (prospects) have fallen. He couldn't make it in Edmonton over their terrible few years and now he's a floater for the Islanders. But to be mistaken for a Flame player on the front page of the SP Sports section, just above an article written by the Sports Editor... Wow.

Needless to say, Robbie Schremp is the Islander in the photo, not Stefan Meyer. Meyer plays for the Flames and scored a goal in the game, WHICH THE ARTICLE ALONGSIDE THE PHOTO EVEN MENTIONS.

Anyway, game sucked and arena was half full. Thankfully the tix were free, thanks Jay.

Beer Pong Olympics 2010

2010-09-30T20:34:00.005-06:00

The recap is a little late, but never forgotten.

~110 drinks and a Rider clusterfbomb later, the dominant 2-time champion team reincarnated as "They're Coming" with new member Dean alongside Alex pulled off a thrilling comeback in the final to take it over arch rivals "The Inlaw Outlaws" of Brent/John. To go along with their brilliant undefeated play, we saw some of the worst beer pong playing I have ever seen which might result in time limits being instituted next year. Clearly some people's varsity days are well behind them (no offense Mel).

And "Buff Naked" stunningly went winless. "Inlaw Outlaws" beat "Ginger-Vitis" in the semis, shortly before Ian hurled like a true Scotsman. "OMG Ponies" and "Moulette" were valiantly average managing 1 and 2 victories respectively. How anyone lost to "Moulette" is still a mystery to me.

This year's MVP goes to newcomer Deaner, who was voted also "Most Clutch" by European Teen Vogue Magazine in mail in vote.

Pants were being caught on the ground all over the place as the famous "the ball is under the table, can you grab it for me?" trick was pulled to cup a famous bounce shot FTW by "They're Coming" over "Moulette". Thanks Jen ;) Though embarrassment caught up later on as "They're Coming" nearly gave up what looked to be a first-time shutout against "Buff Naked" (I think) by getting caught goaltending twice and nearly losing.

I really don't remember much else.

The squirts

2010-09-23T22:41:00.000-06:00

I think he flossed his ass with the ball.

Ronald Flemons

2010-09-13T23:57:00.002-06:00

hhahahahahahahhahahha

Now this more like the Toronto Argonauts I remember. This is worse that the Patrik Stefan miss.

Jason Jones - Shotgun Harley

2010-09-12T22:55:00.002-06:00

Well done badly, takes me back. Dave Coulier was in this?

Shotgun Harley with Jason Jones from Jason Jones

B/W 2 Ferns

2010-09-02T21:54:00.001-06:00

Seth stands in

Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis: Sean Penn from Between Two Ferns

Bed Intruder Song

2010-08-31T22:54:00.001-06:00

Snap

Sick skills

2010-08-29T22:35:00.002-06:00

Jimmy Fallon as Neil Young

2010-07-30T15:20:00.002-06:00

Doing Neil's famous song Double Rainbow

MLS all star game

2010-07-29T22:58:00.002-06:00

DeRo, present as always, unfortunately the pylons that played before him couldn't keep the game tight enough for his goal to be game winning this time.

B/W 2 Ferns

2010-07-29T22:45:00.000-06:00

with Steve Carrell

Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis: Steve Carell from Between Two Ferns

Curt?

2010-07-08T20:25:00.000-06:00

3 kinds of awesome

2010-07-07T16:33:00.000-06:00

Man in a Chicken suit plays "What is Love" on Pianica from Ring Mod on Vimeo.

Wesley Ooijer

2010-07-06T15:33:00.004-06:00

You might know him as André Ooijer, Dutch center back. The Star Phoenix knows him as Wesley Sneijder, Dutch attacking midfielder, and apparent scorer of the Netherlands' game winning goal against Brazil.

Thanks SP Sports, you do yourselves proud. Don't worry about checking the lineup to make sure you get your facts right, because clearly you know too much about soccer as it is. I'm sure you can just assume the guy who "looks" like he's heading the ball in is Sneijder.

Niagara Falls West

2010-06-21T23:04:00.000-06:00

After heavy rains near Maple Creek, on the TransCanada Highway.

Two women arrested over World Cup Dutch 'beer stunt'

2010-06-16T08:04:00.001-06:00

Fuck you, FIFA

From the BBC...
Two Dutch women have been arrested in South Africa over an alleged "ambush marketing" stunt at a World Cup match.

More than 30 women were ejected from the Johannesburg stadium on Monday during the match between Denmark and the Netherlands.

They had all been wearing identical mini-dresses in Dutch orange, sold as part of a gift pack by a Dutch brewery.

England USA in Lego

2010-06-14T23:41:00.000-06:00

The Green own goal is even funnier in Lego.

La Cuauhteminha

2010-06-08T23:41:00.002-06:00

Apparently Cuauhtemoc Blanco is famous for this, though I've never seen it until now. Keep an eye out for it in South Africa.

He got Zambotta pretty good.

Conan O'Brien Tour

2010-06-02T23:36:00.001-06:00

With Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert

I'm sorry

2010-05-27T23:27:00.000-06:00

but this is awesome. If they could turn this into what baseball is, then I could get into it.

Nike World Cup Ad

2010-05-21T00:39:00.002-06:00

Wow, I wonder how Ronaldinho feels about this now?

Drunk Histories

2010-05-13T15:45:00.001-06:00

Drunk History vol. 6 w/ John C. Reilly & Crispin Glover from John C Reilly

Drunk History Vol. 5 w/ Will Ferrell, Don Cheadle & Zooey Deschanel from Will Ferrell

Good Old Fashioned Gatorade Shower

2010-05-06T17:58:00.001-06:00

YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Pucker Up Scholes

2010-04-17T10:39:00.003-06:00

Obviously there is a Man City fan in the web newsroom of ESPN soccernet. This photo on their website was titled "Nevillegay". Man U beat Man City with a late goal this morning 1-0.

2010-04-05T14:33:00.001-06:00

Pause, breathe, footy

2010-03-26T20:31:00.003-06:00

A while ago, the inflated head of a certain Lillywhite buffoon claimed he was shooting for the top at Real Madrid. Mistake prone (yet often trumpeted) Wilson Palacios essentially stated he was using Spurs as a stepping stone for further ambitions. Not that that has anything to do with my beef with him; a lot of players do it. However, they are usually good players. But, hell, I'm all for it. Get rid of the idiot. Heather hasn't learned who he is based on his quality footballing, but instead from the constant screaming she hears from the living room: "Fucking Palacios!"

Well, if Palacios going to Madrid (or anywhere for that matter) isn't sweet enough, I'm going to perk right up for the return option. Lassana Diarra is now rumoured to being pursued to come the opposite direction because of a falling out at Real Madrid. And as someone who watched him work some defensive midfield magic in person, this suits me just fine. Granted it was through some beer goggles, he was clearly the player of the TFC - Real Madrid friendly last August in a match that featured C. Ronaldo, Kaka, Higuain, Raul, Xabi Alonso, and, yes, even Dwayne De Rosario.

From Daily Mail...

Real, though, want a find a replacement before allowing the £17million-rated France international to leave.

Let's get this done.

B/W 2 Ferns: Conan & Andy

2010-03-18T21:02:00.001-06:00

Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis from Between Two Ferns

B/W 2 Ferns: Ben Stiller

2010-03-18T20:54:00.001-06:00

Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis: Ben Stiller from Between Two Ferns

Spaced Invaders with balls

2010-03-11T00:14:00.000-06:00

More head shots

2010-03-10T23:05:00.003-06:00

According to tsn.ca's poll today, 70% of fans don't think that a minor/major penalty for a head shot will have any effect on deterring players from doing it. I was not one of them. And neither is Don Cherry.

So the question is, what do people think is needed here? Huge fines? Suspensions? lifetime hockey bans?

A major penalty is absolutely going to change behaviours. Because 5 minute majors are going to lead to goals, which are then going to lead to lost games, which are then going to lead to coaching decisions against the idiots who do these things. It would be nice to think that Matt Cooke gets disciplined internally by the Penguins from that hit, but that is dream world. Winning is the only thing that matters in hockey. If he gets penalized on that hit for 5 minutes and Boston scores two goals and wins by 1 instead of loses by 1, I'm going to guess there will be a strip torn off him by Dan Bylsma.

I think the poll was misinterpreted by most people who think only penalties aren't good enough for them for punishment. They want suspensions and fines. Adding those things in is fine. But that doesn't mean only penalties won't affect players' behaviour.

Suspensions are fines because they forfeit their salaries during the suspension and these would also help. I would give an automatic 1 game suspension, followed by 5 games for repeat offense, and then double the suspension going forward. Once the first guy gets 10 or 20 games for this, you bet your ass eyes will be opened.

Take out head shots

2010-03-09T10:08:00.004-06:00

Up for discussion at the NHL General Managers meetings is head shots.

The current debate is whether to outlaw all shoulder hits to the head or just the ones that come from the blind side to a player in a vulnerable position. I have no issue whatsoever with taking out all shoulder hits to the head, which would mean even the ones where the hitter comes and hits straight on. Chris Neil did it to John Mitchell on Saturday when Mitchell reached for the puck as the hit came in. Chris Neil would get penalized in my system, but not for being dirty, just unlucky/clumsy. And next time maybe he reacts differently by slowing his check and just pushing Mitchell over instead of leaning into him. After all, what if Mitchell was Sidney Crosby and he got a concussion and it knocked him out for the season (or worse). Would my rule be worth it then? I think so. And not just because I have Crosby in my draft. Which, consequently, I've dealt with the serious impacts of concussions in because my late round pick, PM Bouchard, has played only one game this year because of a concussion. (Yes, this really is all about me and my ability to profit. I have Savard too, btw.)

All the stakeholders in the NHL say "we have to do something about it." But who among them is really pressing to do something about it? Who is clamoring for change? Who is demanding it? Boston's GM Peter Chiarelli seems pretty adamant something should be done. But that is only because his player, Marc Savard, was obliterated the night before by Matt Cooke.

Sports writers want something to be done. Fans like me want something to be done. But guess what? Brian Burke has a message for you:

"I don't mean to hurt your feelings, but when we talk about rule changes I could care less what the media has to say about it," said Toronto Maple Leafs GM Brian Burke. "To me, we've got to address what's right about our game and what's wrong about or game -- not what some sportswriter thinks is wrong with the game."

Sid Sixeiro is right. He said if the NHL is unwilling to do anything to protect their own players, because they are reluctant to take away the physical nature of the game, then why should I care about the well being of those players? Maybe they should just be looked at as gladiators, like you do with boxers and MMA fighters. But the difference here is that hockey players are supposed to score goals to win games, not beat the shit out of each other. But as Jason Spezza says on tsn.ca:

"The physical nature of our game is one of the best things we have and you don't want to take that physical nature of the game but you also don't want to see guys getting hurt."

They (the league and the players) are worried about "sissy-ing" the game because they think fans only love the game for the blood-thirsty nature of it. A lot of fans probably do. They have that gladiators mentality. At times I've probably had it. But at some point, a little maturity and common sense has to be injected when you start regularly seeing guys passed out on the ice and careers being cut short.

When Canada nearly completed that tic-tac-toe passing play that was only thwarted by Evgeni Nabokov against Russia in the Olympic quarter finals, I was on my feet. That's the hockey I want to see. I don't watch the game to see guys getting laid out. Hitting is part of the strategy and the excitement about the game, but it is not everything about the game.

Just like how everyone stands and ooh and ahhs at NHL fights and gathers around a computer or a TV to see the line brawl or Mike Milbury beating a guy with a shoe in the stands, they would do the same thing if it happened in a parliamentary session or at a Mcdonalds or at a day care. But just because people are fascinated or entertained by it doesn't make it right.

There's no question the most exciting hockey that can be seen is in the Olympics (or if you're Canadian, the world juniors to a large extent too). How much fighting is there in the Olympics? Zero. I realize this is a short tournament where national pride is on the line and not an 82 game season. And I realize in the Olympics that Ovechkin got away with a shoulder to the head on Jagr that left him concussed (interestingly, Jagr said he wanted one before realizing he actually was concussed so that he wouldn't have to remember it), but the play should have been penalized and Ovechkin comes from a league where that hit is legal and encouraged. If head shots get outlawed in the NHL right now and in 4 years time in Sochi for the next Olympics and that situation presents itself again to Ovechkin, does it happen exactly the same way? Maybe. That just might be who Ovechkin is and how he plays. But I don't think so. People aren't dumber than dogs. They can also learn by observing and experiencing punishment from bad behaviour.

Does it seem a little strange to anyone how Canada's identity to the world is a peacekeeping, humble, polite nation? How this happened with our national pastime being hockey is beyond me. We celebrate the fighting and violence and revere a man (to the point of nearly being named the greatest Canadian ever) who calls frenchmen and foreigners pussies and who constantly declares that we are the best.

The NHL, it's GMs, the NHLPA, Mike Richards, Matt Cooke, Patrice Cormier, and the like should all take note. If you have to make your sport appealing by encouraging violence or looking the other way at career / day to day life threatening injuries, then your sport no longer appeals to me the way it once did.

Craziest collection of videos

2010-03-02T23:22:00.000-06:00

Best Fails of 2009 - watch more funny videos

This needs circus music

2010-02-24T00:05:00.000-06:00

EMBED-Painful Soccer Player Double Fail - Watch more free videos

Not your typical back heel goal

2010-02-23T22:15:00.001-06:00

And Yet I Can't Look Away: The David Caruso Story

2010-02-20T23:43:00.003-06:00

Steve Nash WTF

2010-02-13T10:27:00.002-06:00

Oh wait, I just got it. It's a play on the most interesting man in the world commercials. I'm an idiot.

Gibsonator's 2010

2010-02-08T23:07:00.006-06:00

Gluttony will become 1.5 deadly sins. Hey, that's pretty good. They should put that as the title to this demotivational photo. Because that kind of photoshopping is wayyyyyy to hard for me.

Creation of the Ipad

2010-02-03T10:53:00.003-06:00

Brick Lesnar

2010-01-22T20:44:00.003-06:00

Brock Lesnar from the Vancouver Sun:

At the end of the press conference, Lesnar was forced to admit that his U.S. health care adventure wasn't all perfect, telling reporters that he was initially misdiagnosed - he thinks - with a case of mononucleosis.

So, this idiot bashes the Canadian health care system after he goes to the States and gets misdiagnosed with Mono in a US hospital? Thank God there is prestigious hospitals for the well off that can save those wealthy enough to take their private jets to. Best health care system in the world... for the rich and famous, I won't argue that.

And great comparison of our health care system to that of a third world country. Because, as we all know, Lesnar has probably been treated in hospitals from Ethiopia to Afghanistan to Haiti, so he should know.

He always looked like a meathead to me. It's a good thing looks aren't deceiving.

ESPN

2010-01-09T01:12:00.002-06:00

I just watched all of ESPN Sportcenter, waiting anxiously to see maybe a few hockey highlights. Well, I guess I got what I wanted. They showed some of the TB NJ game, but only because the lights went out halfway through the game and they had to postpone it.

Aka, hockey is only a freakshow in the States.

Youth In Revolt will be seen by my eyes.

More Hockey Ridiculousness

2009-12-23T23:04:00.002-06:00

Roloson makes maybe the two best saves of the year in quick succession. Still love you Rolly.

Owned Goal

2009-12-23T22:55:00.001-06:00

This is almost better than Stefan missing the open net in Edmonton

The aforementioned Hemsky goal/Stefan miss:

Get ready to lose your shit

2009-12-23T22:04:00.002-06:00

Though this kind of stunt likely kills hundreds of people worldwide every year, I can't even think about the slow motion portion of this video and not start laughing.

Koci on Green

2009-12-17T22:27:00.003-06:00

These are the guys we need in hockey, right? To protect the star players. Uh huh. And who polices the police?

Craig MacTavish is an idiot, by the way.

Dad Gummit!

2009-12-13T21:05:00.002-06:00

Where the f does that dog come from!

The best video you'll see all night

2009-12-10T23:48:00.001-06:00

Rachel Bilson's Deleted Sex Scene from Rachel Bilson

Oh, oh, oh! No he DIH-UHN!

2009-12-10T23:46:00.001-06:00

Yes, he did. Jens Lehman left his goal and went to take a piss. During the game. A Champions League game.

What this guy doesn't do is what surprises me.

Good on ya' bunch of Swisees

2009-12-09T22:20:00.000-06:00

Watch CBS News Videos Online

Kinds in the Hall coming back

2009-12-08T23:05:00.002-06:00

For a limited time only. Not sure how this is being released. The trailer is mediocre and this has the potential to be very disappointing, but I'm definitely looking forward to it.

Kids in the Hall: Death Comes to Town - watch more funny videos

Let's play Craption.

2009-12-03T05:04:00.004-06:00

I'll go first.

What have you done with Pookie?

Whack a goal(ie)

2009-12-02T22:51:00.001-06:00

OK, shit happens sometimes. But someone explain to me where the fuck Keith Ballard disappears to after he slashes his goalie across the HEAD?! Don't you hang around to check on his health. Or do you just hit him and see him flail around in agony and skate away? Wow.

Twilight Moms

2009-11-30T22:05:00.003-06:00

They just want a side-hug.

Penalty Burn

2009-11-25T22:27:00.000-06:00

Love the music

Cartwheeling Goalie Gets Owned - Watch more Funny Videos

My new favorite band...and hug!

2009-11-25T19:13:00.001-06:00

Some Things Are Just Cool

2009-11-23T22:29:00.001-06:00

This one.

True, True

2009-11-13T21:40:00.001-06:00

Who Knew?

2009-11-09T10:13:00.003-06:00

Though this popular song sounds like it was written and composed in the 30's, it actually didn't come into existence until the 1970's. And unfortunately, green isn't the original colour.

Yes, it's true, blue is actually the colour. Premier League soccer team Chelsea had the song created in 1972 (all "facts" per wikipedia). As you could imagine my shock, I heard their fans singing to the tune of Green is the Colour before a game recently. It doubly hurts to know that the Riders' version is a rip off and that they ripped off a tune from a close rival of my favourite Tottenham Hotspur.

Regardless, it's still a great fight song and I'll sing it all the way to the Grey Cup this year. Rider Pride!

It's not a million but....

2009-11-05T13:39:00.002-06:00

I can kick for a trip to the Grey Cup! Jen B gets props for the info.

Want a chance to win a couple tickets to SOLD OUT Grey Cup???!!!
Join Rock 102 at Griffith Stadium on Thursday, November 12th from 12:00 (NOON) to 1:00PM.
Person to kick the furthest field goal wins a (2) tickets & hotel accommodations for the SOLD OUT 97th GREY CUP CHAMPIONSHIP on Nov. 29, 2009 at McMahon Stadium in Calgary!
Wanna compete?
Anyone can come down!!! Sign yourself up by emailing rock@rock102rocks.com.!!!

Hodgemailed

2009-11-05T13:37:00.001-06:00

My response to Dave Hodge's question on hits to the head: Should the NHL institute a penalty for headchecking?

YES!

There is nothing an unsuspecting player can do to avoid getting hit in the head. Looking at the most recent examples, Booth and Toews both didn't see the hits coming. The only way to settle this is to make the checker responsible for his actions. If Richards had wanted to hit Booth in the open ice, fine. But make him have to choose his speed and shoulder contact more carefully.

And on the same topic of avoiding career threatening injuries, remove hitting after a player gives up the puck. There is too much leeway for useless physical contact. It would have saved Booth and would eliminate players running other players because it would force them to choose their speed more carefully when lining up a body check. Hitting a player with the puck makes sense by trying to free the puck; hitting a player without the puck is simply a punishment for having had the puck.

Headhunt Witchhunt?

2009-10-29T15:09:00.004-06:00

I'm getting fed up with the cliché "admiring a pass." Mac-T used it three times in his refusal to condemn hits like that delivered to David Booth by Mike Richards over the weekend. Keith Jones also used it on their panel discussion about the issue on Wednesday night hockey last night on TSN.

Come on! Why does it always seem that it is former 3rd/4th liners that are getting to opine on these kind of things (Cherry and his lackeys too). These are the people who, in their conservative ways, feel like hockey is going to be ruined by making the game safer. They want fighting and hitting and running the goalie and brawls, just like the good old days. Hell, they even have the ability to come to a consensus that a fighter knocking a ref down trying to stop a fight shouldn't be suspended! What the fuck do you have to do nowadays? But such is the place of fighting in the NHL.

Hockey is hockey. And though I enjoy it's current form, I wouldn't enjoy a reformed hockey any less. It just seems too simple to me.

The hit in question:

First, these blindside hits over the middle of the ice. These are professional hockey players. They don't admire passes, it's a stupid saying. They fucking look to see how the play is going to develop. Does a player on a two on one pass the puck over to his linemate and then put his head on a swivel. (Well maybe he should, since hitting from behind is legal in the NHL, but I'll get to that later). No! He looks for the return pass / rebound. Is this what we want hockey to be? Guys shooting the puck away, scared about what's coming from the other direction. I guess that's what Booth should have done: passed the puck, come to a complete stop, and then proceeded when it's safe. It's like crossing the street, kids!

Solution: Fucking outlaw hitting players who do NOT have the puck (AND outlaw headhunting which is exactly what this looked like to me). I'm always astonished as to how glorified Scott Stevens was for his ability to deliver cheap shots. And that's what the Booth hit was. Anyone can go and find a guy who got rid of the puck and who's not looking and absolutely cream him. Mike Richards is 5'11 195lbs. He's about the size of Wayne Gretzky. If Richards can do it, anyone can. The fact Stevens dwarfed Paul Kariya and Ron Francis makes some of his hits even cheaper.

So, (as the hardened hockey crowd will easily be able to pick out) I've never played hockey. Which means I'm clearly out of my league here. But somebody please explain to me what purpose the rule of allowing players to be hit within a second after they get rid of the puck has? Is it for entertainment? Is it so that the NHL can showcase it's third line checking talent? Seriously. It is legal interference. Wouldn't the game be better served if there were less interference? Oh, but who likes skill when we can watch grown men assault each other!

Most of the time, you see a defenseman in his own end play an outlet pass or rim it around the boards, with a forechecker coming in, and then stand there waiting to absorb the hit. Now clearly this defenseman needs to play the puck quickly or he's going to get hit and potentially lose the puck. So what effect does allowing the forechecker to hit after the puck's gone serve? Seems to me it serves the forecheckers team by allowing it to punish the other team in the form of injuries. And hockey is a physical game right? So therefore trying to injure/punish opponents is a winning strategy.

I guarantee you if Crosby is the one hit (or Ovechkin, as Richards tried a repeat hit Tuesday), people would sing a different tune. In that case, "we need to protect our marquee players." Hypocrites.

Take hitting after puck's gone out of the game! It serves little, if any, purpose and only encourages devastating hits.

And what about fighting? Entertaining? Not really. Maybe back in the days when guys fought through emotion. Now it's either fighting because you have to (aka, someone broke "the code" of running the goalie, hitting a star player, etc.) or it's two 4th liners trying to make themselves useful (aka, earn a paycheck).

I say toss the fighters from the game, just like in World Juniors, which I must say, is some damn fine hockey. But wait! They'll say enforcers are needed in there so ensure things don't get out of hand and they can police the ice. Right, because when those guys are in the box for 5+ minutes after fighting each other, it's utter mayhem on the ice with guys karate kicking each other and shit. Tossing them from the game would just mean more time for actual hockey players and, you know, actual hockey playing.

Hitting from behind. Legal? Sort of. It's OK as long as you don't do it very hard and they guy doesn't fall and break his neck. Otherwise, HO HO (think Costanza)! You're in deep shit, buddy.

I'm pretty sure I'm not dumb, so why can't I figure out why I'm wrong on this one? Why not penalize any hit from behind as long as the hitting player isn't stationary. More penalties? Yes. But the reason you have penalties is to discourage behaviour. And allowing 90% of hitting from behind into the boards isn't discouraging any behaviour, it is ENcouraging it.

Also, nearly every big hit I see in hockey is borderline charging.

That's about all the hockey bashing I have for today.

Nope, there's more. Apparently this is illegal:

Not sure why. It looks like a hipcheck coming in from the front. But again, the theme here? It's a late hit, which is purely unnecessary. If there is a rule against this type of hit, I'm unaware of it.

And if you ask Nick Kypreos (hey! another 3/4th liner at the analyst's desk), this one is bad because he can seriously injure Colaiacovo's knees. But throwing your shoulder into someone's head is ok. That's not liable to ruin anyone's career.

Thank God there is some sense out there in Jim Kelley and Bob McKenzie (note: neither is a former 3/4th liner!).

Thoughts on Swimming

2009-10-29T10:43:00.003-06:00

I get frustrated because I can't swim well, despite having a friend who is head coach of a local swim club. In fact, Heather is a better/faster swimmer than me. Athletically, this is hard for me to take.

But really, why should I be upset? The worse I am at swimming, technique-wise, the more of a workout I'm getting in less time! It's like my refusal to give up my 1994 mountain bike. Along with the fact that no-one in their right mind is going to want to steal it, it's shoddy mechanics and heavy frame give me a better workout in my summer commutes to work.

So here's to poor technique. Keeping what should be obese people overweight since 2008.

Today's the Day!

2009-10-23T14:03:00.005-06:00

yes, admittedly, it is also the day John Gormley really reveals how much of a douchebag he is, but that happens every Friday. No, my friends, what I'm talking about happens only once a year, like Christmas and Lent. It's Wendy's Kick For A Million Day!

Normally I'm not so excited because I continually get SCREWED over by not winning this contest in which I have literally (.... LITERALLY) HUNDREDS of entries. But over time, my loss is actually their loss and my gain. Because it becomes party time to celebrate the pathetic kicking efforts of old, bald, fat men.

Unfortunately, that is not the case this year. It's some 25 year old grad student from Edmonton (BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (breath) BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!). But all in all, he's still a loser; just look at his profile:

Steven is also a big fan of the Edmonton Eskimos and never misses a game on TSN.

You're going to miss Steve. Those are my field goals you are stealing. I'll have a kick-off with you any day of the week, or in your case, day of the weak! Here's hope for the success of your failure!

It's Schadenfreude Thursday!

2009-10-22T10:35:00.003-06:00

Oh, what a great morning this is. Up early, enjoying the morning's darkness getting illuminated by the rising sun. The perk that this non-coffee drinker is getting isn't from a caffeine laced beverage though, it's from the fact that the Maple Laughs are now the only winless team in the NHL. I don't know what it is about enjoying their misery, but I do.

It's probably related to my unhealthy dislike for Brian Burke and everything he represents. Admittedly, I thought it would be a good move for Toronto based on Burke's past successes. And it is way to early to judge how his tenure will go there, but his moves to bolster their defense with the signings of Exelby, Beauchemin, and Komisarek haven't worked out in the slightest. And he still has to worry about repairing what has to be the worst offense in the league. And the best kicker is, if they stay in the basement all season and get the first overall pick in the draft, it actually will go to Boston because they traded that pick for Kessel.

So now the Leafs are resigned to retooling their offense in the absence of any high draft picks in the next two years. If you look at the really shitty teams of the last five years, they all succeeded through big names in the draft (the Islanders were a little late with Tavares); the Penguins got Crosby and Malkin, the Caps got Ovechkin, TBay got Hedman and Stamkos, and they are all way better teams because of these moves. Toronto now has to bank on Kadri to be that guy?

So what I'm really hoping for is them going out and getting another Jason Blake to help out; going back to their traditional ways of picking up elderly free agents. This is going to be fun.

Oh, corking good laugh old chap!

2009-10-20T19:46:00.000-06:00

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Southern Exposure

2009-10-17T00:28:00.006-06:00

Having attended Collective Soul this evening, live, for the first time, I can easily say, despite what Americans might think, they are a national treasure. CS are the equivalent of The Tragically Hip South. They represent rock south siiiiiide and I can see why they have such a strong northern following given THPs adoration here. If I were asked to describe American rock, I would say Collective Soul. And Yes, Foo and PJ and RHCP would take a back seat. Love it.

Gareth Barry. Not a big fan. He may have some foresight into balls played forward. But as a distributor and defender, not so sure. I may be biased, but give me a Hargraeves any day. As hard as that is to say.

And on that hard to say topic, Peter Crouch is a threat. For Spurs and otherwise. I like him in a weak opposition type role. He is dangerous in desperation. Birmingham have seen that this year. And Belarus are discovering presently in my time. Nobody is stronger in the air going forward.

England fans remind me of Rider fans.

Dustin Penner is a new man and Mike Comrie is a man renewed. Pleasant to see the Oilers getting some economy for a change.

Was the Dana Carvey Show actually the greatest show ever?

2009-10-16T22:30:00.002-06:00

It had both Steves! Still, all I can remember of it is Kurtis Thick repeatedly saying "Tea, tea, tea, tea" while doing an impression of Prince Charles. Weird.

The Dana Carvery Show - Waiters Who Are Nauseated By Food

Dana Carvey | MySpace Videos

Save of the year

2009-10-15T22:52:00.000-06:00

It's OVER!

Oh, we've all been there!

2009-10-15T22:48:00.002-06:00

This just keeps getting better and better the longer you watch it. It's kind of like one of those internet games where you toss the dummy around and watch his limp body crash into shit.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you McCabe Clear

2009-10-15T22:39:00.001-06:00

It's a play on Pepsi clear, get with the program.

No Mo love

2009-10-15T13:50:00.005-06:00

I may be letting my "love" of Maurice shine through a little here, but I feel the need to bitch about this stupid canned statement, from the Star Phoenix ...

Upgrades to a facility such as Credit Union Centre provides an “impetus for youth” to get into hockey, said Maurice Vellacott, MP for Saskatoon-Wanuskewin.

“It gives them something to aspire to,” Vellacott said.

“If you didn’t have places like this, you wouldn’t have places at a lower level where people want to do this kind of stuff. You’d get a bunch of couch potatoes and people sitting around.”

Don't get me wrong, I love hockey and I don't mind money being spent on projects like this. But to suggest that without an UPGRADE TO THE JUMBOTRON and ADDING SOME LED SIGNS that people might not want to play hockey is ludicrous. And if you want to combat child obesity, then think about building a giant soccer specific stadium. Soccer is the most participated in sport for youth in this country and in this province. So why not invest big in it if health is really a concern here? I mean hockey is great, but even I'm one of many kids out there who were or are priced out of this expensive sport. Soccer is easily among the least costly sporting activities around and one of the best for cardiovascular health.

Vellacott, get your head out of your ass. We invest in hockey arenas because they make money. And they make money because it is the sport in which the most people will go out and spectate. This is not an impetus for youth to join hockey. Subsidize the costs or help the organizations who help underprivileged kids play if you want an impetus for youth to join hockey. This is money to make our arena look cool to rest of Canada and the world, period.

Chucklesome

2009-10-13T21:14:00.000-06:00

I may not recover...

2009-10-06T22:36:00.000-06:00