Gator Sex

C-dog asked me to make a post about sex with aligators. So here goes:

From The Environmental Magazine...

Alligators with undersized testicles may seem like a problem only for other alligators, but scientists at the University of Florida (UF) argue that what happens to 'gators today may well happen to humans tomorrow. In fact, the alarming reproductive problems of Florida's alligators may be surfacing in largemouth bass, a sign of widespread lake pollution.

Now, I didn't expect my research to take me in this non-freaky-deaky-backroom-gator- humping direction, but it did. And this should serve as two warnings for all men. Number one, make sure you only mate with other men that have large testicles in order to increase the chances of your offspring's chances of having large testicles. And number two, invest in testicular implants.

And from insultmonger.com:

A guy walked into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He put the alligator up on the bar and turned to the astonished patrons. "I'll make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute. He'll then open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink." The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his privates in the alligator's open mouth. The gator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and rapped the alligator hard on the top of its head. The gator opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals, unscathed as promised. The crowd cheered and the first of his free drinks was delivered. The man stood up again and made another offer. "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try." A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar. A man timidly spoke up, "I'll try, but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle."

That's as close as my research came.