Stupid Snacks

So, get this. I have four snacks for my afternoon, a banana, a yogurt, a sunrype fruit bar and a kraft handisnack (the one with the cheese and breadsticks). Normally, I take one of the non-raspberry yogurts, because that is Heather's favorite. But since it was sitting there this morning and she didn't take it, I decided it was fair game. Now, I don't know if it's karma or what, but I go to eat it this afternoon, give it a customary shake, and yogurt starts to fly. A small opening on the side sprayed yogurt all over my desk. I'm sure I even missed cleaning it all up. Probably have some in my hair à la Ben Still in Something About Mary.

So, whatever, clean up, no big deal. Can't eat that yogurt if its not sealed. But got 3 snacks left. Life goes on.

So now I go to the Kraft Handisnack. Interestingly, yesterday, I was chided 1 of the 8 breadsticks. My form is to use two breadsticks at a time and attempt to remove 1/4 of the cheese with every scoop. Logical enough. So with one missing, this made my last scoop a single. Which isn't the worst thing in the world, because it leaves more cheese for the senses and using one breadstick allows better scooping ability and less waste at the end. So I didn't complain to the Kraft Gods.

Maybe they thought I should be rewarded for this act of maturity and understanding. Because today, there was 12 breadsticks crammed into the regular spot reserved for 8. Lucky day right? Nope. They were so crammed, that the plastic was torn off and all the breadsticks were brittle and stale, but somehow softish at the same time. I tried one and deemed it edible and decided to proceed since the cheese is compartmentalized and was still sealed. However, when I tried to scoop with the breadsticks, the cheese seemed very hard and the breadsticks were all breaking. I decided to abandon ship.

The weird thing is, I would have really thought I would notice the breadsticks when I grabbed them in the morning. My theory is that there was some breadstick fornication going on in my lunch bag, followed by breadstick birth. I don't know, something about breadsticks getting it on seems a little gay to me. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Now I'm down to two snacks. And I must say, the two black sheep snacks of my lunch family.