SP Headline Fail

Inuendo Fail!

Unbeatable

From ESPN Soccernet...

Robinho believes Manchester City will be 'almost unbeatable' if the club manage to sign Samuel Eto'o from Barcelona this summer.

Yeah, and while Richard Dunne sits out his 8 suspensions next year, Tevez could slot in at center back. Unbeatable.

I don't know how you get even close to that conclusion by loading up on strikers. If Tevez and Eto'o sign, that will surely close out the forward ranks for the upcoming season, along with Robinho and Roque Santa Cruz. Get ready for some bitching about playing time coming from Man City this year.

Canada's Gold Cup Squadron

from canadasoccer.com...

CANADA
1- G- Greg Sutton | unattached / sans club
2- D- Adrian Cann | DEN / Esbjerg fB
3- D/M- Mike Klukowski | BEL / Club Brugge KV
4- D- André Hainault | USA / Houston Dynamo
6- M- Julian de Guzman | ESP / Deportivo La Coruna
5- D/F- Kevin McKenna | GER / 1. FC Köln
7- D/M- Paul Stalteri | GER / Borussia Mönchengladbach
8- M- Marcel de Jong | NED / Roda JC
9- F- Ali Gerba | CAN / Toronto FC
10- M/F- Willi Johnson | USA / Real Salt Lake
11- D- Richard Hastings | SCO / Inverness CT
12- M- Issey Nakajima-Farran | DEN / FC Nordsjælland
13- M- Atiba Hutchinson | DEN / F.C. København
14- D- Dejan Jakovic | USA / DC United
15- M/F- Josh Simpson | GER / FC Kaiserslautern
16- F- Simeon Jackson | ENG / Gillingham FC
17- D/M- Jaime Peters | ENG / Ipswich Town FC
18- G- Joshua Wagenaar | ENG / Yeovil Town
19- D/M- Kevin Harmse | CAN / Toronto FC
20- M- Patrice Bernier | DEN / FC Nordsjælland
21- M- Chris Pozniak | SCO / Dundee FC
22- G- Kenny Stamatopoulos | NOR / FC Lyn Oslo (on loan from Tromsø I.L.)
23- F- Charles Gbeke | CAN / Vancouver Whitecaps FC

Notable absences are Dwayne De Rosario and Adrian Serioux. Dero isn't much of a surprise because he already said he wasn't likely to play. The stupid MLS doesn't respect international tournaments / World Cup Qualifying, so this makes it even tougher for players to choose country over club or vice versa. I think Serioux is battling injuries, so that likely played a part.

I want to see André Hainault replace Serioux in central defense and anyone (McKenna preferably) replace Richard Hastings. I know Stalteri is likely to captain the team, but it really is time for him to quit. I'm stoked to see Simeon Jackson play for the first time, after he scored a Wembley goal to secure promotion for Gillingham to League One and he scored on his debut for Canada to secure the 1-0 victory agains Cyprus last month.

I'm not sure why Newcastle defender David Edgar or Portsmouth keeper Asmir Begovic aren't included either. These are good young players and we really need to bring them into the fold, they could be crucial for our qualification for WC 2014.

Size matters

Since this topic always comes up, usually during Euro's and World Cup's, I thought I would put the issue to bed. The soccer fields we play on here in Saskatoon are just as big, and in some cases BIGGER than the fields professionals play on. Using my Google Map measuring skills, here are the comparisons:

Saskatoon Umea - 81 yds vs. 121 yds (bigger than the 80 v 120 yds max requirement for International games)
Saskatoon Newsham - 72 yds vs. 106 yds
Saskatoon Sasktel Center Fields - 75 yds vs. 110 yds

Stamford Bridge (Chelsea) - 73 yds vs. 110 yds
Upton Park (West Ham) - 73 yds vs. 110 yds
City of Manchester Stadium (Manchester City) - 74 yds vs. 114 yds
Anfield (Liverpool) - 74 yds vs. 110 yds
Nou Camp (Barcelona) - 75 yds vs. 115 yds

The Slide Tackle

I've been reduced to limping on both sides, which might tie the world record for most limping legs. This was the result of a soccer slide tackle on skin searing artificial grass. I thought it would be fun to chronicle (what I hope to be) my last raspberry.

I've done quite well with my slide tackles so far this year, probably pushing a dozen with 0 fouls and more often than not coming away with possession of the ball. This was another one of those occasions. After getting up with ball on foot, I made a pass which, shortly thereafter, was put out for a throw in which I went to take. Sensing that something might be wrong, I was queried if I wanted a sub from the bench. After hesitating, the pain started to increase and I realized it would be a good idea.

This one slide tackle reduced me to whimpering all night. Due to my foot making heavy contact with the opposing player's leg, I could barely walk on it. It got worse as the night wore on, to the point where when I went to bed, I could only lie there and moan for a few minutes. This wasn't the worst consequence of this slide, however.

Now, since I slide tackle a lot, I'm used to getting floor/grass/fake grass burns (aka raspberry) on the side of my sliding left leg. The last 3 games have all resulted in one. Yes they burn in the shower the next day, but that is usually the end of it. By the time the next game rolls around, everything is completely healed.

The one I got on Tuesday has been amongst the worst ever. Heather was even concerned, so she played nurse and cleaned the wound. She found little rubber pellets from the artificial grass embedded under my skin. Needless to say, the wet cloth against the open wound did not feel nice.



The past 2 nights, I have had to avoid anything making contact with it, including covers, wives, clothing, anything. It burns bad. So I've been sleeping with my ass exposed out the side mostly. Yesterday morning, Heather put gauze on it along with some polysporin. In a few short hours, that gauze was soaked in pus and it was stuck to the wound. This happened a few times throughout the day.

The morning-after shower, as always, was not fun. However, I don't recall ever seeing this afterward; there was pus literally dripping down my leg. After re-gauzing and disinfecting. I dressed and went to work. It took virtually no time for pus to soak through the gauze and through my underwear. My shorts were even wet from the pus. I didn't prepare for this and I had to go to Pharmasave to get supplies to re-cover the wound.



So why does this make me have to limp on my left side? Well every time I take a step, thus bending my knee, my underwear rubs against the open wound (I got sick of gauze). It is still soaking my underwear with pus and it still burns heavily.

So the conclusion? Compression shorts under my soccer shorts. Something I told myself a decade ago would be a good idea. The result of complete and utter lethargy. Somebody slap me.

Gorilla Knife Fight

After briefly discussing the wicked picture of the lobster knife fight yesterday, I found this on CBC's website:



I know this could have been violent, deadly, horrifying, sickening, and enraging to animal lovers everywhere. Me, not being one of them, thinks this PICTURE is awesome. Not the situation.

Nothing came of it though, the knife was safely retrieve and both gorillas went back to throwing shit at each other.

HAHAHAHA that is the sound of me laughing

...Laughing at his holiness, Brian Burke, perched atop his ivory tower, sitting on his throne, blood filled chalice in hand. That's a pretty accurate picture, I think.

Today he's announced that he wouldn't pick up Dany Heatley in a trade because of the way he asked to be let go from the Senators:

In a phone interview with Deb Placey and Billy Jaffe on NHL Live! broadcast on the NHL network, Burke stated that the Leafs had no interest in the two-time 50 goal scorer, largely because of the way he has chosen to handle his trade request.

"We're not going to be in on that," Burke stated. "He's a good player but I have certain guidelines on how players ask for trades."

Oh, that's rich. This coming from the guy who happily snapped up Chris Pronger who up and left Edmonton after ONE season because his wife wasn't happy (for reasons that are neither here nor there).

What's more likely is that Pronger was a bruising, suspendable player, the ilk Burke seeks, while Heatley is not.

Though Brian Burke is good and he will be good for Toronto, he is the ultimate douchebag and gives me even more reason to hate the Leafs than I already have.

I'm going with the Noid.

'Cause he's amazin'. Yeeeeah he's awl dat. If he ain't awn 'is grind, den watchoo kawl dat?



He'll fuck yer shit up is basically what I'm saying.

Fuckin' Noid had his own video game and everything.

Ah, shit. So did the 7-Up Spot. (by the way- wtf?! The spot? What the shit kinda mascot is that?)

And Ronald McDonald i think...

Well never mind. The Noid is still gonna rule that shit. You know it. He's the fuckin' N-O-I-D.

Iain Hume News

On Dailymail.co.uk's frontpage...

Barnsley striker Iain Hume has declared himself fit for pre-season signalling an end to his horrific injury ordeal.

The 25-year-old underwent surgery on a fractured skull and internal bleeding after a challenge by Chris Morgan during the match against Sheffield United on November 8.

Iain is a Canadian international and could be very important for our national team moving forward, with Tomasz Radzinski in the twilight of his career. Hume is small and fast and has fit well in the winger role for Canada in the past. I don't know if he can play in the upcoming Gold Cup, but that would be a boost for us and for his career I'm sure.

Steve Nash On Letterman

Lonely Island - On A Boat

Funniest thing I've seen in a long time. Good song too.

SP Sports FUBAR

Good old double head scratcher article in Thursday's Star Phoenix. I wonder if accuracy is important for print media? Do they even proof read this stuff.

Notice how Todd Nichols(on) has different names in different places. I've never heard of this guy, so I don't even know which one it is! And then Todd Blythe is different heights. Did he grow while McCormick was writing the article?



Oh, and another great feature in Wednesday's edition. Though I love these articles, chronicling the Riders by position day by day, they have now used 3 different methods of denoting the imports/non-imports. Wednesday's offensive lineman chart used (n) to denote imports. Hello?

The Goat

No, not that goat.


Crazy Old Goat - Watch more Funny Videos