Friday, October 31, 2008

Halloween

I believe it was Charles Dickens who said...
I will honor Halloween in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.
Something like that anyway.

I won the pumpkin carving contest this year at work. A whole 3 submissions were made, one of them being an uncarved pumpkin (which took 3rd place and a prize).


I'm glad to see that my 3 hours of carving Wednesday night were rewarded. My fingers are still in pain after using substandard carving tools.

And how about THIS for a rip off. In our box of Hershey's chocolate bars, there was a package or Reese's Pieces which was sealed with no candy in it! I know! The CEO of Hershey's, David J. West (yeah, I looked it up), should be fired on the spot. Either that or he should come and hand fill my package with chocolate for me. Wait, that kind of sounded erotic. Either way, I'm sticking to it!

Hershey's, you are officially ON NOTICE!


Moving on...

I'm thinking if I do anything to dress up tonight, I'm going to cut some of my hair off and use double sided tape to tape it under my nose. That should give me a good pedophile moustache. I'll put pics up if that's the case.

380.10$ premature

I bet on sport select last weekend for the first time in a long time. My darling ticket was one with 3 NHL ties on it. So for 2$, I could have won 390.10$ if all games ended with "ties" (ties in the Sports Select world, because there are no ties anymore in hockey).

So as I sat in Crackers admiring drunk people singing karaoke, I glanced at the hockey scores. 1st game on ticket, shootout win (aka, "tie"). 2nd game, shootout win. 3rd game... Well, that's where I jumped the gun. Turns out I was just watching the scores for something beside the time indicator. The time indicator being "1st" for first period or "F" for finished games. But if there is a game that ends in overtime, then it is "F/OT" and for shootouts "F/SO." Now both these latter results are ties after regulation time, but in the sports select world, one is a tie and one isn't.

So because I jumped the gun and saw "F/OT" on that third game, I bought a round of drinks for everyone to share my joy. Naturally, it only took me a few minutes to realize my 390.10$ ticket was actually -28$ for the round of drinks I bought.

Thankfully, I won 10$ by going 10/12 on the spread on another hockey ticket which was like winning first prize in an ugly contest. Some consolation.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Bill Cosby is nutsby

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Stamkos

update: Steve must read my blog because not 10 minutes after I wrote this, he got his first NHL point, a PP assist. What the hell is wrong with Sarnia?



It's official, right now, in Tampa's 8th game into the 2008-09 NHL season, quasi-starting goaltender Mike Smith has more points than supposed rookie starlet Steve Stamkos, with 1 assist. Stamkos being a current no. 2 centerman.

With Crosby, Ovechkin, Malkin, Kane, Toews all stepping in and doing big things like they were supposed to do in recent years, it would probably been a foregone conclusion that Stamkos would do the same. I wonder if Tampa is considering moving him back to junior since they haven't yet played the 9 games that would use up the first year of his entry level contract.

Shocking. Thanks for taking him early in our draft B-rad.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Blogging Plants

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/7681966.stm

He devised a sensor which he attached to the plant named "Midori-san" that measures bio-electric signals. These are converted into data by a computer next (to) the plant and then translated into Japanese in the form of a blog.
Sounds like some Japanese student watched The Happening on acid and got tripped right the fuck out!

MacGruber!

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Air Farce

Recently I traveled home from Toronto on Air Canada, aka, Air Farce. What a joke.

For the first time in my life, I was bumped from a plane. I didn't ever know why these kind of things happened. Turns out these things happen because you buy a ticket. Oops, stupid me. But because they sell too many tickets, sometimes you get fucked. Because when you don't check in early and get a seat assigned, you are flying by the seat of Air Canada's pants. It doesn't have to make sense.

You see, what they do is assign a certain number of seats for a flight. After that, you get put on a list. And then at the time of the flight, they go down the list (alpha-fucking-betically from what I can tell), and give people tickets. So if you're on one of these lists and your last name is Zzazzooz and everyone shows up, start looking for another flight.

The best part is when the ticket agent calls you over and explains that don't have a seat. The lady I talked to started with "Ok, here we go again." So think it doesn't happen very often? Oh, but "all the airlines do it." Sure thing. Do all the other airlines have problems on every flight I saw that day?

After being sent to the customer service desk, I waited in line for at least 15 minutes. The fucking line was so long that it blocked the hallway completely. It was probably 20 people deep. Clearly Air Canada doesn't overbook their customer service agents' shifts because there was only service from 2 and half people while I was there.

So I took my 200$ Air Canada voucher (aka garbage, as far as I'm concerned) and my 12$ meal ticket and went on my way. My agent told me it could have been worse because there was a Vancouver flight that day which was overbooked by over 30 people. 30 PEOPLE! Air Canada, setting new records in incompetence. And of course every meal in the airport is at least 12$ so the voucher doesn't get you very far.

After getting re-booked for a flight 3 hours later, the kind customer service agent said she was going to assign a seat for me because she didn't want to take the chance of me missing that flight too. Well thank you very fucking much! What a treat! You would think that would be automatic for someone you just inconvenienced for 3 hours with no free internet in the airport and you can't sit in this section of the restaurant because you ordered at the till and the fucking Colts game is going in and out of reception and they are sucking anyway so... fuck.

Of course when the next flight rolled around, I sat and watched a group of people go through the exact same thing that I did. Can you imagine how horrible it must be to be an Air Canada ticket agent? Having angry (would-be) passengers harassing you constantly trying to find out why they aren't getting onto the plane that they bought tickets for? The highlight came when a guy came on the plane at the last second and shortly thereafter the ticket agent came and said he had to get off the plane because the people whose seat he was taking had shown up late. Unsurprisingly, he was not all that happy about it. What a cock(pit) tease.

So, this was the first time in quite a while that I've flown Air Canada and their in-flight entertainment has improved, now that they have competent competition in WestJet. But unlike WestJet, all AC's programming is stored for on-demand. WestJet has a live bell TV feed, which was nice for watching Champions league soccer on my last trip to Toronto and sports highlights on the way out on this trip.

So without the opportunity to watch Sunday night football, I settled in to watch The Happening. But the way my night was going, I figured the movie system would crash halfway through. That would have been par for the course. But instead it worked fine. The problem with that though, was the The Happening was one of the worst movies I've seen in a long time. I mean, instead of the crazy twist at the end like all other M. Night. Shamalamadingdong's movies, it is the most expected possible ending. What the fuck was that?! Now I was wishing the damn movie had crashed.

The one redeeming moment was that my checked bag made it to Saskatoon on the first flight and was sitting there waiting for me in Saskatoon to pick it up right away. Though I'm surprised it wasn't sent to Albuquerque.

Well Air Canada, you bumped the wrong man. I will televise the revolution and it will taste like purple gatorade. On your planes, I shall not fly. Air Canada, you are officially ON NOTICE!

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Gerry Dee - Sports Reporter

Friday, TCU Place, 8:30.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Oh please let this continue



I think I should be Steve Macintyre for Halloween. This guy could scare the shit out of anyone.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Burn!

Lil' Bill

This kid is hilarious.


Little Bill O'Reilly Tells It Like It Is - Watch more free videos

oh, if you're not in the know...

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Just More Proof that Pants are a Hazard

Long live "don't you hate pants"

Canada WC Qualifiing 2008 Stage III Match 4

Canadasoccer.com
Despite my attempts to smarten the CCA up about promoting the game in Canada in the past, they seem to dismiss the simple things to keep people happy. Their website, www.canadasoccer.com is again way behind the game. Along with not posting television broadcasting information, they do not even list the upcoming World Cup qualifying fixtures on the website. So if you, like me, are looking for day and time information about the game, you are going to have to look somewhere else. Things just aren't very obvious to them.

I did eventually find the information in less obvious portion of the website:
The match will be televised live on Sportsnet Pacific (18.30 PT) and Sportsnet West (19.30 MT).

Canada v. Honduras

Now that I know Canada plays in Hoduras on Saturday, let the praying begin. It would be awesome to have something to cheer for when Canada plays Mexico on Edmonton next Wednesday. They need to beat Honduras, no questions asked. There are problems with this however.

The two big stars of the team are out. De Guzman and de Rosasio are out due to and injury and a suspension respectively. To make matters worse, the heart of the defense, Adrian Serioux is also out. And to pile on to the steaming pile, Jim Brennan quit the team after a row with coach Mitchell, not that he had a big role to play in our game plan anyway, which seemed to be the heart of the issue. The cherry on top is that what would have been two useful players in midfield are also out on injury, Issey Nakajima-Farran and Daniel Imhof. So now we almost need a miracle.

I am pushing for sweeping changes in the center of defense. I was hoping for Richard Hastings to come out and David Edgar and Kevin McKenna dropped in place. But this won't happen because Edgar wasn't called up (dammit!). So much for my hope of a good mix of youth and experience. The timing would seem right for Edgar too, due to his recent inclusion in some of Newcastle's fixtures. McKenna, meanwhile, had been playing regularly for Cologne in the Bundesliga. So Hastings will likely be there to stay, though our depth chart lists a lot of possible defenders. Stalteri and Klukowski will likely be the unquestioned starters at fullback (though questions about Stalteri have admittedly been rampant in my mind for quite a while now).

This may be the most important game that Atiba Hutchinson plays for Canada ever. He is now the heart of the midfield. Speed on the wing will be provided by Radzinski, returns after his hand slicing incident in Montreal. Patrice Bernier is back after suspension, but I really don't like the idea of putting him back in, he was ineffective and hot-headed. Though, since we are so limited on midfield options, he will likely feature. The only other real option seems to be Marcel de Jong. Hope we don't need to make any subs in the midfield on Saturday.

After Gerba showing everyone once again what he is capable of, and Iain Hume too for that matter, he should be slotted up front with Rob Friend. I think Friend will benefit from having some help up front and be much more useful. With two big men up front, we can concentrate on using our speed down the wing from Radzinski and Hume to pump balls into the box. We need wins, so sitting back should no longer be an option.

As expected, Hirschfeld will be in net, that is the only confirmation thus far.

So, my desired lineup would be:
----------------Hirschfeld----------------
-Stalteri---Hastings--McKenna---Klukowski-
-----------------de Jong------------------
-Hume-----------Hutchinson------Radzinski-
------------Gerba-------Friend------------

Roster for 2 qualifiers (from www.canadasoccer.com)
CANADA
1 Lars Hirschfeld | G | Edmonton, AB | ROM / CFR Cluj
2 Chris Pozniak | D/M | Aurora, ON | SCO / Dundee F.C.
3 Mike Klukowski | D | Oshawa, ON | BEL / Club Brugge KV
4 Kevin McKenna | D | Calgary, AB | GER / 1. FC Köln
5 André Hainault | D | Hudson, QC | CZE / FK SIAD Most
6 Julian de Guzman | M | Scarborough, ON | ESP / Deportivo La Coruna
7 Paul Stalteri | D/M | Brampton, ON | ENG / Tottenham Hotspur
8 Kevin Harmse | D/M | Vancouver, BC | CAN / Toronto FC
9 Tomasz Radzinski | M/F | Toronto, ON | BEL / K. Lierse S.K.
10 Ali Gerba | F | Montréal, QC | ENG / Milton Keynes Dons FC
11 Richard Hastings | D | Vancouver, BC | SCO / Inverness CT
12 Dejan Jakovic | D | Etobicoke, ON | SRB / Red Star Belgrade
13 Atiba Hutchinson | M | Brampton, ON | DEN / F.C. København
14 Marcel de Jong | D/M | Newmarket, ON | NED / Roda JC
15 Patrice Bernier | M | Brossard, QC | DEN / FC Nordsjælland
16 Rob Friend | F | Kelowna, BC | GER / Borussia Mönchengladbach
17 Iain Hume | F | Brampton, ON | ENG / Barnsley FC
18 Joshua Wagenaar | G | Grimsby, ON | ENG / Yeovil Town FC
Dwayne De Rosario | M/F | Scarborough, ON | USA / Houston Dynamo
Adrian Serioux | D/M| Scarborough, ON | USA / FC Dallas

Sunday, October 05, 2008

Flagrant Referee

Saturday, October 04, 2008

MMM, donurgers

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Is that a ... Oh Sweet Jesus!

It's not often I have anything interesting to write about, so I'll give it a try with the events of last night, which I hope never occur again.

Everyone has seen roadkill at some point on the highway, in various states of decomposition. I don't think about it too much and it doesn't really bother me. But last night, I got to witness roadkill which wasn't as much kill as it was just road. Heather and I pulled up to what I thought was a dead cat on the road. As I slowly approached it with my headlights pointed in its direction, it appeared more and more like a tattered garbage bag with some shit inside, blowing slightly in the wind.

Then I turned the car toward our street and gave one last glance back. I saw the bloody face of a cat and the associated puddle of blood oozing from it's head. The cat was actually twitching in agony. Just as I looked away, its one leg stuck straight in the air. I can only assume this is what they refer to as rigor mortis, which was a welcome sign knowing it was done suffering. However, without being sure, Heather and I went out to investigate.

I brought a shovel to scoop it out of the middle of the road and a ice chipper in case I needed to get violent and "finish him." It didn't seem like a desirable thing to do at all, but I thought I would be able to do it if I had to. That changed pretty quickly. Thank God that cat was dead, because it was disturbing enough just trying to get the cat onto the shovel to move it. The thought kept racing through my mind that it wasn't actually dead and when we touched it, it would freak out and start spraying blood from his eyes at us and start screaming nonsense at us in a robot alien voice.

Cats are animals and as such, they are stupid. They will not always obey the rules of traffic. I assume house cats who get out are worse than others. And given their ability to jump fences (is nimbly a word?), it would make sense that they are actually not permitted outdoors without a leash. From the City of Saskatoon:

Cats and dogs are not permitted to be at large (they must be on a leash when outside of the owner’s property).

Perhaps those who regularly don't abide by such rules generate enough apathy from others to not care when they run over someone's pet, so they leave it there in the street to die. Don't get me wrong, I find that completely unacceptable and though I'm sure it was an accident, all parties need to share the blame: the driver, the owner, and the cat. Obviously we know what the cat's repercussions were, but what about the driver? By not stopping and handling the situation, they have absolved themselves of their responsibility, which subsequently fell to Heather and I. It was either sheer laziness, malaise, or fear. And lastly, the owner. I didn't check to see if the cat was tagged, but assuming it was, it would seem appropriate for the owner to pay a fine. Obviously they were in dereliction of their pet duty (did someone say pet duty?) and should be punished as such. Maybe this is what happens in reality, I don't know. Ultimately, they were the ones who broke the rules which led to the accident.

Heather and I moved the cat to the side of the road so either the owner might find it and see the carnage or someone hungry enough could have a decent meal.