What am I getting paid for this?

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Introducing the new attraction for Saskatoon and area residents The Slippery Muff.

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When you're done for the day laying on the beach why don't you join us for a relaxing walk up to the front window. From here you can overlook the ever popular Haslam Cresent where all the people who live on Haslam Crescent drive. If that wasn't enough, the first 1 person through the door an opeing day may receive a special surprise.

So come on down to The Slippery Muff where everyday is like the rest but better.

For the horses

From Sportsnet.ca ...

KENNETT SQUARE, Pa. (AP) -- Barbaro's final resting place could be just a few hundred yards from the scene of his greatest triumph in the Kentucky Derby.

Officials at the Kentucky Derby Museum, located on the grounds of Churchill Downs, said Tuesday they'd be "honoured" if Barbaro were buried in a garden along with four other Derby winners.

I'm sorry, but this is stupid. All this curfuffle about a stupid horse. I understand that there are a lot of animal lovers out there and they can get very attached to their pets, but COMMMMMME-ON! This horse wasn't even a pet per say, it was an organic revenue generating device used for rich lawyers and stock brokers to watch gallop around a track, have a delightful afternoon, and make themselves richer. I've never seen anyone give a horse a post-race interview. I've never seen the disappointment in the eyes of a horse that lost a race. I've never seen a horse train itself to break into the big leagues.

I will never understand treating a horse better than a human being. Barbaro had all types of specialized medical care and grieving hearts going out to it. All that should have happened was the pull of a trigger and the gas being fired up on the barbecue.

That's another thing, why the hell is eating horses considered so taboo? What is it that horses do in nature that cows don't? I could ride a cow if I wanted to, couldn't I? I could care deeply for a cow, no? I could make an automobile named after a fast cow if I so desired. The only difference that I can see nowadays is that people ride horses and therefore there is an emotional connection.

Take this for what it's worth, but Wikipedia says that ...

Horse meat has been used as food for animals and humans throughout the ages. It is eaten in many parts of the world and is an export industry in the United States and other countries.

And get this, it says that it is even "slightly sweet, tender, low in fat, and high in protein." Sounds delicious! Apparently you can buy it in Quebec, but that doesn't exactly satisfy my life here. Oh, how I crave a horseburger.

Colbert and O'Reilly

Genius. This was like Christmas morning.

FYI...
To really appreciate the humour, you need to know who they both are and what the political climate in the States really is.

The political climate is currently very heated in a left vs. right fashion. Left being the liberal Democrats and right being the conservative Republicans. There is almost a media war that goes on constantly with bloggers from both sides attacking each other, pundits criticizing each other, and almost everybody seems to be on one side of the fence or the other.

Bill O'Reilly is basically the face of Republican media. He has a show on the Fox News Channel. The running joke about Fox News is that is totally conservative, though its slogan is "fair and balanced." The media that runs with a liberal slant, such as The Daily Show or David Letterman or Keith Olbermann (another pundit seen in the videos) constantly bashes and is at odds with O'Reilly.

The Colbert Report is a spin off of O'Reilly's "No Spin Zone" TV show on Fox. Colbert basically imitates O'Reilly, exaggerating everything he and Republicans are about to the point that they look stupid and ridiculous. That is why you see Colbert treating the man like a God.

Una testa per Materazzi

This guy is a magnet for head butts.

the SHO must go on

I'm seeing something working here for the Oilers. Something that worked quite well last year and has yet to be implemented with any perma-commitment this year. Here's hoping this combination continues.

SCREEECH... BOOM!

Screech is actually an exaggeration, because that is not the sound sliding tires make on ice. It's more of a silent death.

Heather and I, while driving north on Wiggins yesterday, up a hill, narrowly avoided a screeeeech... boom. This chick started sliding down the hill going the opposite way as us. It was kind of funny, because I noticed she was sliding as we were coming up to here and I didn't really even worry about her sliding into me. Thankfully, she didn't, she slid right into a tree.

What happened after that was a little strange. She bounced right off the tree and continued sliding down the hill into oncoming lanes, where there was no cars. She then proceeded to drive away, like nothing happened. Now, the car she was driving wasn't a beater or anything, so that's not why she wasn't concerned. I guess there is really no reason to stop, you don't have to share insurance information with trees, I don't think. But then again, I've never been in an accident with a tree, unlike some people, hey KD?

Long story short, I would have stopped the car at least to inspect the damage done to the car, maybe got an eyewitness report from one of the many cars that saw this happen and slowed down for her, and for sure cursed at the top of my lungs before calling my wife and getting in shit.

This place is just to dangercold. I'm out of here. See you in Italy.

Snow Day

This is Saskatchewan, not B.C. So when work decided to send us home early today, that should say something about how bad the weather is. It took me over 3 hours to get home from work today and probably would have taken longer if not for some executive decisions by Adam and I, who carpooled. Props also go to the 3 chicks on the corner of 14th and Preston who were basically digging people out of the intersection constantly and helped us out.

When I got home, I was hoping the wind would have come in such a direction to blow the snow off the driveway instead of plugging it. Was that ever wishful thinking. There was 2-3 foot drifts all over it. So I just got the car going as fast as i could and plowed it up into the driveway. It's stuck nice and good now, ready for some shoveling in the -40 weather tomorrow morning.

What really makes my day is all the weird shit that happened. I guess someone reported that there was a pack of deer wandering around Sutherland this afternoon. Would I ever be pissed if that were the accident I got into. And at work, someones car started on fire. Why today of all days? And then the heart warming story. There is a basketball team from Australia coming into town (by train because they couldn't fly in) for BRIT. Welcome to Canada, hope you brought your swimming trunks!

On the plus side, the Oilers won.

Here is what I get to work with in the morning:

Mind the slide, Govenor

I'm going to go out on a limb here, but maybe 4 years old is too young to give your child a 4-wheeled death machine.

Doty

Please let this guy be the next President.

Best day at work ever!

Check out the email we got around lunchtime:

There is a car on fire in the parking lot. The fire department is here and no one is allowed out of the building until they give us the all clear. More information will be coming as we know more.

Oh, and by the way, no peeing on the fence.

The Good Sheep

We went to seen The Good Shepherd last night at Galaxy. Who knew that going to see a spy movie would turn into a covert operation to sneak into the movie theater. How appropriate.

We arrived early due to KD's fear that the movie would be sold out. I guess that is not all that strange given it was cheap night and a newer movie. Turns out this had a drastic effect on the plot. I went to get the tickets while Heather went to get the froyo/coke. I wandered over to her with the tickets and grabbed the coke and headed for the straws. That was the last time the movie tickets were seen.

Now either I just left the tickets on the serving counter or threw them away with the straw covers. There's a chance they disappeared later, but my memory is fuzzy since we went to play video games. This perfect distraction (probably Galaxy's ploy) allowed me to not only give them more money, but forget about the tickets altogether. It was only after KD and I had finished racing that I realised I had no idea what I did with the tickets.

This is where things get ridiculous/fabulous, depends on your point of view. So I am searching away for the tickets in every crevice of my clothing. They are nowhere to be found. Heather is nagging, the movie is starting, and I'm getting pissed. So, craftily, Brad notices that there is nobody manning the entrance to the theater hallway. Light bulbs go off.

We start walking toward the destination. False alarm, Galaxy employee comes out of a side room. We freeze. However, he continues walking to another side door and out of sight. Brad is still leading the way and he passed the target. Hesitant, we are lagging behind. This occurs to me not to be the best idea, and probably 10 times so for Heather. Bravely, I tell her we are making a run for it. We march towards glory. Sam Fisher would have been proud, I tells ya. We make it in and turn toward our eventual safe haven. We make it about three steps in. Then, out of the corner of my eye, I see the attendant come out of the room behind us. "Excuse me, can I see your tickets please." DAMN IT!

So my mind starts racing, how do I explain this one? What would a good spy say? What would a good spy do? I probably should have knocked him out with a nerve gas injection to the neck after hacking the security cams, but I pussied out. "Our buddy has our tickets, he's out there," I said, pointing back to the lobby. So now I've lied to the guy, no chance for remorse for our situation and letting us in on merit. We move back out to the lobby while the guy chuckles behind us. And why shouldn't he? How many times has he seen this happen? Probably dozens. But how many times has it happened that the people trying to sneak in were a working married couple with 300 Euros in their wallets (ie. don't need to be sneaking into movies) and actually bought tickets!? Probably never.

I was sick to my stomach. The movie then got really expensive when the girl at the ticket counter, a new one from the one I had bought from before, didn't buy my story and forced me to purchase new tickets.

Then the kicker.

We take our new, freshly printed tickets toward the attendant so that we can finally go relax and watch our movie. THERE IS NOBODY THERE AGAIN! We walk in without having to show our tickets or have someone stop us this time and nobody is any wiser.

FUCK!

I still have the unused tickets. If someone wants to doctor them to change the date so they can go some other time, I would be interested in recouping some of my gate fees. And yes, I'm sure it is legal.

PS, thanks Brad for stealthily dropping your unused ticket by the gate entrance for me to reuse. Given the attendant standing right beside you, I don't think that me going to pick it up right after attempting to sneak in would have gone unnoticed.

Briere in, Matheson out

UPDATE: Daniel Briere was named to the starting lineup of the NHL Eastern all-star team last night by fan balloting. Eat it up Jim. Where's Gomez by the way?

---

from: December 4, 2006

Jim Matheson of the Edmonton Journal says:

Never mind Rick DiPietro getting that ridiculous 15-year, $67-million deal in Long Island from his boss Charles Wang. How about the arbitrator handing Buffalo's Daniel Briere $5 million US this season off 58 points last year? You think he's worth that? You think Briere, while feisty and quick, will get as many points as Jersey's Scott Gomez, who got $5M US, too, from a salary judge? Me neither.

I nearly shit my pants when I read this at the beginning of the season. Not just because I love Danny Briere and I think he should have made the last World Cup and Olympic teams(he clicked with Heatley in the 2004 Worlds (2g, 6a, 8pts) and at the 2003 Worlds), but because this Matheson joker completely ignores that Briere only played in 48 games due to a hernia removal. He was on pace for 99 points if he played the full 82 game schedule, which would have been good for 8th spot in the league. Gomez, meanwhile, had 84 respectable points in a full 82 games. Maybe Matheson can't do math (which would be ironic).

Oh and should we ignore the fact that Briere had 8 G and 11 A for 19 points in 18 playoff games last spring, too?

So far this year, Briere has 10G, 20A for 30 points in 26 games (+5), while Gomez has 3 G, 12 A for 15 points in 17 games (-2). The fact that Buffalo is an offensive powerhouse (113 goals for, 1st in the league) and New Jersey is not (62 goals for, last in the Eastern Conference), only gives further credence to Briere's case. Lastly, Briere has to compete for ice time (especially power play) on a team that is very deep at the center position (Drury, Roy, etc.). Gomez does not have this problem (Parise, Madden, etc.).

Briere will keep up to and likely put up better numbers than Gomez. If anything, Briere is underpaid this season if you are comparing him to Scott Gomez.

Jim Matheson, you should be fired for your indiscretions and slander! Someone who is in the Hockey Hall of Fame for this kind of stuff should be better than this.

Consumer Reports

This Saturday's paper's flyers had a sweet deal for anyone interested in buying something of significant value. There was an offer from Consumer Reports to get the 2007 Buying Guide and another guide for free! This is nice since I am planning on buying an HDTV this year, wife permitting.

But I might subscribe to the monthly magazines too because it is only 39$ a year. I am going to be the best buyer out there! Jon/Kevin/Kevin, if they review online dating services, I will let you know. I want you to get the best BANG for your buck, if you know what I mean.

Best or Worst?

British vote top 500 songs of all time. What is number one? I don't want to spoil it for you. But if this list says anything about its voters, Goo Goo Dolls - Iris is number two! Rubbish! What a sordid lot you all are.

Who did not crack the top ten? The Beatles. The Rolling Stones. The Red Hot Chili Peppers. Steve Miller. CCR. Queen. REM. And many others.

http://www.virginradio.co.uk/music/charts/top_500/index.html

Flamers

Take that, Ovechkin!

Still my favorite.

Where's the motivation/solution to stamp it out?

"At this World Cup, the deplorable habit that involves players staying down for no apparent reason after minor collisions, thus causing frequent breaks in play, was increasingly in evidence"
-FIFA World Cup 2006 Technical Review

I don't know what they are talking about.

The good, the bad/sad/funny, and the Romo

I am a Larsson lover, it's true. That is why this is so beautiful. Not only does he come in after playing in what would be a rec soccer league in England, but he played awesome from what I saw in the extended highlights and this goal was perfection. Hope he makes it into a regular rotation:



Super Soccer Slap Happy Arms Go Flappy Scrappy:



From stud to dillhole in 2.3 seconds:

Stupid Lions' stupid dome

I hope they have to play all their games in the rain this year.

Conaninity and celebribrutality

Forss is a pretty funny name, now that I think about it

Oh Stefan

Correct me if I am wrong, but did this not happen in the exact same location as the famous Steve Smith incident? Spooky. One thing's for sure, this will be the top hockey story this week behind the Canada game today and Patrik Stefan will be made to pay for this the rest of his life.

Crouching Tiger

Someone, please tell me how Gorgon scores so many nice goals.

Know your Plasma

You should probably try this at home.

Reasons to cheer for Newcastle, part 1 of 1

I watched this game but missed this goal and all the discussion because my Mom phoned me while it happened. Thanks a lot Mom!

HD movie in the hizzy

Considering a HD DVD system? Here is a VERY amateur comparison of HD-DVD, Blu-ray, and regular DVD. It is not a true comparison by any means, but interesting and easy because its mostly pictures.

click here

Spidermen

Things

Hockey. Glorious Hockey.

I read about this this morning, but it is way more fun to watch.

Back to work

Ironic how none of my blogging gets done while I'm on holidays, ain't it?

Significant events over the Xmas season:
-Got a Nintendo DS
-Got the Nintendo Stomach flu and had to miss the two days of work that I was scheduled to go back in for. I had diarrhea like crazy. I now know the usefulness of a bidet.
-Started looking seriously into a HDTV, which has now hit avalanche obsession after learning Ryan has gotten a Plasma. I'm considering the 50-inch-ish LCD variety.
-Won my fantasy football league (suck it Blair-itoba!):