Disgraceful

In another disgraceful decision by random variables, I have not been awarded this year's opportunity to kick for a million (dollars). In TSN, the CFL, and Wendy's annual competition, 4 people across Canada (2 East, 2 West) get to showdown for an opportunity to kick a 50 yard field goal for 1 Million $$$ in Toronto this Friday October 3.

And despite the hundreds of entries I have made, someone else from Saskatoon won. Can you believe it?! Hundreds of entries! It must be horrible luck for me not to get picked.

And now there is only one thing to do. Drink my sorrows while eating baconators. Yes, that's right. It's my bi-annual anger management party where I support the CFL by drinking Gibson's whiskey and eating Wendy's baconators. Then, in a state that will only be described to me later, I will yell at the likely overweight and overage man on the TV trying to kick field goals for prizes. Last year was a hoot with what I'm sure is now in divorce proceedings where a gentleman of the form I described earlier missed from 20,30,40,50 yards to win nothing. The look on his wife's face was priceless. And so was the Shadenfreude from this here viewer.

I don't know what's wrong with the world and why the cosmos has aligned against me. I could be a marketing dream out there kicking million dollar field goals and tempting teams to sign me. I could change my name to Wendy Milliondebotte (maybe Wendel would be better). I could get the red haired chick tattooed on my ass. I could celebrate field goals to make soccer players jealous. Regardless, this was just another opportunity missed.

So, friends, I invite you to join me in my now annual event that I affectionately term Gibsonators night. Kickoff is 5 PM for Toronto - BC to be followed immediately by Calgary vs. Saskatchewan.