Top Ten Vacation Highlights

10. Heather's Grandma didn't beat me at golf this time. The fact that we didn't play together on this trip is a moot point.
9. At Brewsters in Calgary, I spilled an entire glass of stout all over myself after ordering a 5 glass sampler platter. Thanks a lot for the suggestion, JON!
8. +35 degree weather in BC everyday.
7. My Grandpa got the family a hot tub in Clear Lake.
6. Curt and Jon stayed civil on the golf course, though they did get marshaled for driving their cart up to the green on a par three. The marshal asked if they were handicapped. HA! If he only knew. Time for an orange juice and coffee.
5. Free golf. Heather's grandparents own a course in BC and my Grandpa owns a mini golf course in Clear Lake. Hell yup!
4. We didn't total our car in Edmonton this time.
3. The cherries we picked from Heather's aunt's tree in BC were later discovered to have very noticeable worms inside, every single one of them. Thanks for picking through our food, Heather! WIDKWHM.
2. Heather and I and my two cousins decided to go Blair Witch on my sister and three other girl cousins who were tenting outside in Clear Lake. We snuck up in the dark just as they were about to get out of the tent for pee time. Luckily, we were all behind slender tree and all they could see was random body parts and they FREAKED! My one cousin said she was calling the cops and then called her Mom and told her to get my uncle to come out with a bat. Then the best part... my aunt had just got back from the UAE and had brought back this singing Arab alarm clock that was loud like hell and sounded like imminent jihad. I had it with me and turned it on and I'm pretty sure scarred those girls for life. Happy camping.

And finally...

1. Whilst tubing on Clear Lake at near supersonic speeds with Heather, just as I was being tossed from the tube, her bathing suit bottoms were pulled to here ankles. To my surprise, looking back at the tube, there was Heather's bare ass staring me in the face. Classic.