Exposing a Diver: Kyle Lafferty

Here is a Rivaldo type performance by Ranger's Kyle Lafferty. I'll bet he wasn't laffertying though when his own team fined him and the Scottish Premier League could potentially suspend him.

Exposing a Diver: This dude

What you look to gain from diving due to an official's flag is beyond me. Maybe you don't like the guy and think that maybe the ref will give the linesman a red card? Seriously. I'll bet that made that player's Mom cry when she saw that.

Jokers, exposing a diver: Markstrom

UPDATE: YOUTUBE OFFICIALLY SUCKS. In the time it took me to write this post, all these videos got banned. I've tried to replace with whatever shit was left.

The ultimate joker/jackass, now that Avery is gone: Jarko Ruutu. How do you even play with a guy like this? He bites Buffalo brawler Andrew Peters, and lucky to escape alive.



And this, THIS! is not how you fight. This is like a baseball fight. Hilarious. Alex Semin (extra hilarious name) attempts to fight Mark Staal, by beating the back of his head.



And of course, how could any of us forget this gem. Tie your helmet up, son! You're a goalie for God's sakes. Jacob Markstrom tries to swim on the ice.

Violence on Ice

Dammit. Who would have thunk, Jesse Boulerice.

I entered a hockey pool which had a bonus question to guess who would get the first 3+ game suspension for conduct in the regular season. I guessed Jarkko Ruutu because he's an idiot. But I guess given the Downie incident, a smart man might have figured out that the goon-assed Flyers are back and Boulerice would be a good bet. I mean, at least Simon sticked another fighter in the face, why is Boulerice cross checking Kesler? Because Kesler said he wanted to show the Flyers his worth. That doesn't even make sense. He should want to show the Canucks and their fans his worth. The Flyers obviously knew his worth or they wouldn't have tried to sign him to an offer sheet two years ago.

Jarkko Ruutu is still an idiot.

Boulerice:


Downie:


Ruutu is an idiot, dirty, and ....:


.... oh yeah, he's a diver too:

Exposing a Diver: Dida

Well, this is not your typical dive. AC Milan's goalie Dida gets slapped across the chest from a fan right after Celtic score the winning goal in last night's Champions League game in Glasgow. He was attended to by medical staff, stretchered off, had an icepack to his face, and was replaced by the backup keeper. The fan was given a lifetime ban for his actions, but what of Dida and his panties?

Exposing a Diver: Tomas Rosicky

Wow, typically you see dives that come on legitimate fouls. Here, it looks like Jenas touches his arm and Rosicky falls like a gunned down Gunner. Tuck your manhood between your legs and strut around like the lady you are.


Speaking of Jenas:


Speaking of amazing goals:

Spot On Lads!

It is absolutely true, this is comical. You get angry at someone for diving, so you push him, he dives again, and then he comes at you and you dive? WHAT THE FUDGE!?

If this doesn't prove that soccer is for a bunch of panty fairies, then I don't know what is. And I will reiterate, something needs to be done about diving, because as much as they say it is in the rules to punish it, they don't. The referee will only punish a dive if he is 100% certain that the player has dived. I applaud Graham Poll for doing this on Saturday, catching Bernardo Corradi, and resulting in a sending off, but it is all to rare.

I will also reiterate that I am a footballer (read: soccer player) and therefore a panty fairy, don't bother pointing out this irony to me. At least I'm not a swimmer.



EXPOSING A DIVER - Bernardo Corradi (to come later)

Exposing A Diver: Arjen Robben

You could write a book on this guy... or I guess make a movie would be more appropriate because it is kind of hard to describe a dive in writing. So what the hell am I doing?!



There is a serious lack of Robben's diving exploits out there on youtube, but trust me, there are many. He was in full flop at this year's world cup.

Don't get me wrong, extremely talented, but a barbie doll in stilleto's is stronger on her feet than he is... not that I would know how hard it is to stand a barbie doll in stilleto's... or that I even know what a stilleto is for that matter.