Pick up lines

my favorites:
If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?

Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blow-job?
Her: No.
Do you want to do lunch?

Excuse me. My friend over there is a little embarrassed. He'd like your phone number. He wants to know where he can get a hold of me in the morning.

the rest here.

Speechless

While Mats Sundin has yet to make a decision on his playing future, sources are telling Sportsnet that the Vancouver Canucks have offered the Swedish centre a deal of $20 million over two years.

I thought my dad said that they offered him 5$ million a year, this is just ridiculous. It would make him the highest paid player in the NHL!

There are going to be some sad faces in Toronto I think.

(and I'm not talking about the fact that they paid 3.5$ million for Jeff Finger. Jeff Finger!)

Uhhhhhmmm, yeah

Holy crap I almost feel guilty for enjoying most of this. Apparently this was a pilot for Wonder Showzen, which is something from MTV. More here.


http://view.break.com/528276 - Watch more free videos

Sneak Attack

poacher.

Big Lebowski Action Figures

I think the picture says it all.

I can't wait until Christmas.

Ask The Ref

I know strange things can happen on the pitch (2006 World Cup Final), so I am not going to suggest these questions are retarded. However, imagining them actually occurring is quite amusing and it is funny to think someone is actually wondering these things.

The BBC is running a feature where strange questions get asked to Keith Hackett, the Premier League referees' chief. You can view them here:

An interesting development has revealed that if either a mascot/fan/anyone else who isn't a player OR an object prevents the game ball from entering the goal, the ball is considered dead and there would be a drop ball from the point of interference.

Some of my favorites (my nicknames):
Pigeon Hold:
"What would happen if, for example, Jens Lehmann of Germany was being attacked by five pigeons while he was in goal and Phillipe Senderos decides to shoot from 50 yards for Switzerland and scores? Would this goal stand?"

Flying O:
"What would happen if 6 players were to make a circle formation around the ball and run with the ball into the opposing team's goal? Would the goal stand?"

Be-footed:
"Suppose that Holland are playing Spain in the semi-final, and Holland have a corner. The corner is swung in, and a goalmouth scramble follows in which Van Nistelrooy's foot is accidentally trodden on, and his boot almost comes off his foot. When the ball falls in front of him, he kicks his foot out and his boot flies off, hits the ball and knocks it into the goal.
Is it a goal? If not, do you caution him?"

HPV, Gus, and Heat

Watch me blog.

HPV
So Saskatchewan's Ministry of Health is going to offer HPV vaccinations for young girls in the fall. This will help prevent cervical cancer caused by HPV. The theory of why this is bad thing, although mystifying, is this: allowing these vaccinations is tantamount to condoning sex for young girls.

And while I don't think 11-12 year girls should be having sex at that age, I can't fathom why you would want to punish a child for doing so by chancing them with cancer. The "one strike, you're dead" rule is totally unnecessary, though it unfortunately often comes from religious quarters.

Besides, where's the outrage to Hepatitis B immunization or Tetanus shots? I don't see kids going "Yay! Now we can go out and safely shoot up drugs together while having rusty nail stabbing fights!"

GUS
Well, my prediction came true and Russia moved on to the quarterfinals by defeating Sweden. This was the first time they have moved on from the group stage of a major tournament since the Soviet Union disbanded. They even beat out England to just reach the tournament in qualifying.

And how did they go from rags to riches? Jedi Gus Hiddink. Russia's current manager has worked his magic yet again to advance another unlikely team into the knock out stages. He did it with Australia in the 2006 World Cup, sending Croatia and Japan packing before narrowly losing to Italy in extra time. And he was able to get South Korea's first win in 5 tournaments at the 2002 World Cup before marching them to the third place game.

I'm not sure he can match the Dutch in the quarters here though. Even Yoda lost a few battles.

Heat
So Matthew Good was last night and it was pretty rockin. The music was fantastic, though I don't know how into the show he was at first. I know crowd chatter has bothered him in the past and there was plenty of that during his opening sequence of Hospital Music songs. By the end when he was playing the classics, everyone was well into it though.

I give the Odeon a 1/5 for venue. It was ridiculously hot in there, to the point of almost not being able to breath. Matt Good's shirt was soaked straight through after less than half his set. And I couldn't hear one word he said while trying to engage the crowd, and we were right in front of the soundboard! On the plus side, I had no problems getting 6$ beers.

Cool Ant Attack

Don't worry, the gecko was dead.


Time Lapse of Ants Eating A Gecko - Watch more free videos

Hockey Pool Roundup

I wanted to make a summary of my performance in hockey pools this year, so I figured this would be a good way to do it.

Regular Season
1. Main Local Draft, 20 players each, snake style, points only
Cost: 20$
Result: 1st of 5
Winnings: +80$
2. Fantasy hockey, Sporting News, season 1 (1st half)
Cost: 0$
Result: 1st of 7
3. Fantasy hockey, Sporting News, season 2 (2nd half)
Cost: 0$
Result: 2nd of 9
4. Box Style draft, point/penalty minutes/goalies
Cost: 20$
Result: ~15 of ~60
Winnings: -20$

Playoffs
1. Box Style Draft, points/goalies
Cost: 10$
Result: 1st of 11
Winnings: +90
2. Snake Style Draft, points/goalies
Cost: 5$
Result: 2nd of 6
Winnings: -5$
3. Vecima playoff pick'em pool, 3 points to pick series winner, bonus 2 points for correct # games picked
Cost: 0$
Result 1st of 31
Winnings: 40$ gas card

Overall, not a shabby year to come up with some wins and winnings of 145$ plus the gas card.

Now to dominate my 1v1 Euro pick'em pool versus Brett.

What?

From Sportsnet...

The famous Hockey Night in Canada theme that has introduced thousands of great games over the years may not be heard again when the puck drops next season.

The agency that represents the song's composer said the CBC will no longer use the familiar hockey anthem.

Yeah, right, and Ron Maclean is going to broadcast for someone else too. Remember that one?

Word Up

From Sportsnet...

Toronto native Julian de Guzman has been named player of the year Deportivo la Coruna, his Spanish La Liga team.

De Guzman is the first Canadian to ever play in the top flight of the Spanish league, and helped Deportivo to a ninth-place finish in 2007/08.

I am now sorely disappointed that I didn't get a chance to see him play this year for Depor. I wasn't even sure he was figuring in matches until late in the year when I checked into some of the lineups. His contribution must have been significant in boosting Deportivo's standing in mid-season when they looked to be threatened by relegation.

I can't understate how huge this is. For a country our size, we have so little professional talent exported and to have our only player ever in La Liga to win a team MVP is huge. Who knows, it might even open people's eyes to the kind of talent that is available here. Of course, personal accolades aren't anything new for De Guzman, being MVP of last summer's Gold Cup.

I'm now very optimistic with where Team Canada can go with it's current players. De Rossario is always an MVP in my eyes and forward Rob Friend led his German second division team, Borussia Mönchengladbac, in goals after helping them get promoted back to the Bundesliga. I'm sure playing alongside German international Oliver Neuville didn't hurt either.

This leaves the national side with a pretty strong core up front. Of course, playing the Brazilians on Saturday will require a strong defensive core, but the real performance target is the upcoming World Cup qualifiers later in the summer. And I'm hoping for a really strong showing (read: drubbing) against Panama in next Wednesday's friendly.

The Canada-Brazil friendly can be seen tape delayed on Sportsnet on Sunday at 8 AM.

Screwed

So I made a rare venture out of my cube, and an even rarer venture out of my office area to swing by what should have been Brad's empty office. Yes, I said office, he is almost a God around here. They send him to Europe for vacations for Brad's sakes! (get it?)

Anyway, the reason for my trip was two fold, but the real motivation was I know Brad had cookies in his cube recently. A whole bag of them. Waiting to be pillaged. But I walked by just now and the door is closed. And yesterday there was someone in it! So, I'm worried that they have either replaced Brad with some sort of cyborg and now Brad is off to meet his death at the end of the world OR someone is just using his vacant office space. It's a real toss-up.

But screw Brad, really when you think about it, because what about my desire for cookies? I'm expending energy all over the place and I can't seem to catch up in calories or sleep. These cookies would have really kept me going and tied the room together.

That cyborg is dead!

Pro 6+5

From ESPN Soccernet...

Blatter's so-called '6+5' proposal - which would limit the number of foreign players to start any club match to five - has sparked a battle of ideologies in global soccer.

Opponents say it would be an unworkable regulation which contravenes the European Union's free movement of workers rules.

Blatter, however, insists foreign quotas are necessary to ensure the sport's growth and well-being and to prevent a handful of rich clubs dominating honours.

The mentality of soccer in Europe is survival of the fittest. I'm not sure the big clubs give a shit at all about the lower level clubs and their well being at all. This is why you see things like the G14 (14 of the biggest clubs in Europe banding together to make demands to EUFA).

Now, when a noble effort to not only improve the stock of domestic players (which I think the English National team would benefit from the most), but to hopefully improve the domestic competition and make it more of a title race for 1 of 20 (instead of 1 of 4), the big clubs seem intent to quash it in court. This rule would limit the scope of these big clubs' ability to cherry pick stars from wherever and would force them to do more building of domestic players.

Take Arsenal this year, for instance. The ONLY English player of note on that team was Theo Walcott, who wasn't even a starter. In fact, they have way more playing Frenchmen than Englishmen. So England's top players are more likely to be playing for lower quality teams due to this and likely missing out on a lot of European / top level competition.

And look at how the NHL has matured from opening up competition. It is healthier under the salary cap system. This was something done to improve the league, the teams, the game. Who benefited the most? Probably the owners, but no fan gives a shit about an owner other than his willingness to field a competitive team and prevent him from re-locating (re-Jetsing?). In my mind, I won the most. The salary cap will keep costs from exploding and keep it affordable to most fans. Which will keep people coming to the building every night. Which will keep advertisers pumping their money into there. Which will keep the team in the city and which will keep the team profitable and able to afford the occasional free market splash.

So, as the rich get richer and the poor get poorer, expect to see more Derby's in English top flight. Expect to see very little change at the top, very little hope in the middle, and lots of scratching at the bottom.

Very little parity:
Premier League: same top four last 2 years (same top 2 positions)
La Liga: 2 changes in top four last 2 years (same champion)
Bundesliga: 1 change in top four last 2 years
Serie A: 2 changes in top four last 2 years (Juve was down the for one of these years, no change in top 2 teams)
Ligue 1: 2 changes in top four last 2 years (same champion last 7 years)
Evedivisie: 1 change in top 4 last 2 years (same top 2 positions)

In fact, of these European super leagues, on Germany has a new champion.

Sports Embarassment

http://ca.askmen.com/sports/fitness_top_ten_150/170_fitness_list.html

Speaking of own goals, of which we rehashed a few of these last night, here is a list of 10 of them. I'm not sure Escobar belongs so high based on hilarity, but definitely high in significance, being a World Cup own goal and his being murdered of course. Also, Philips is an instant classic that I didn't know ended up in being the Stanley Cup winning goal.

The one that I chuckled at was one that wasn't on this list, but should have been. It was an international hockey game in which Japan was playing Denmark. I believe it was a relegation game and this was the winning goal, for some reason, my google skills can't verify this at the moment. What makes it great is the Japanese player, Nobuhiro Sugawara, celebrates at first for a brief second before the realization sinks in.



Another candidate that would have been appropriate given the current playoffs would be Fleury's bank shot off his defenseman to lose the 2004 World Juniors vs USA.

best ever costume

Collection of Hockey Violence

Got to love this time of the year



How is this not a suspension?! All he got was a fine. The last time I checked, Chris Simon got 25 games for a similar baseball style chop. Unbelievable how star players are treated.

Tunneling

Who know that pucks could tunnel along with electrons?

One of Finland's goals in the world hockey championships yesterday which clearly did not enter the net properly.

How this goal was allowed to stand, I will never know.

Van Persie?

Awesome Nike soccer commercial.

Old School SNL sing song with Shaq

Don't know how this didn't make it on to one of Ferrell's Best Of DVD's.