Berbatov strikes again

Everyone one else, eat your hearts out. World striker of the year.

Get yer Keeper herrrre

For a good deal on a goalie, click here.

Extra Extra!

Brad's a winner!

Winner, weiner, same thing. Anyway, hope you enjoy your lamp you waste of skin. I don't want to even know what you had to do to get in the elite winner's circle. RnD never wins anything. Way to buck the trend, Brad. Yeah, that's right, I said buck, but we all know what I really meant.

Check mate!

UPDATE: for some reason, the distance from Saskatoon to Yorkton is 50 km shorter on google maps than on the yellowhead highway website. that is some bulllllllshit. I don't know who's right.

---

Upon yesterday's pointless discussion, Ryan estimated the distance along the Yellowhead highway as being a shorter route to Winnipeg than going through Regina. Now, I'm no arithmetician, in fact, I'm not even a medical doctor, but here is what my web-research has shown:

Yellowhead (source):


Saskatoon to Winnipeg (Through Regina - source)


So, if you do the calculus, Ryan was right in his assertion that the Yellowhead was a shorter route, by a whopping 2 km. But if you take into consideration that you get to go 110km for the Regina drive on double highway and that the Trans-Canada is close to being totally twinned, then clearly, you should never go to Winnipeg. Dirty, dirty, Winnipeg. (Sorry Blair, its true).

Anticipa-showwwwwn

Halo 3 demo leaked. A better looking Zanzibar.

Exposing a Diver: Tomas Rosicky

Wow, typically you see dives that come on legitimate fouls. Here, it looks like Jenas touches his arm and Rosicky falls like a gunned down Gunner. Tuck your manhood between your legs and strut around like the lady you are.


Speaking of Jenas:


Speaking of amazing goals:

Sleeping Beauty

Well, it's been a while since my last wifing post, so here is a few goodies to keep you ticking (but not tocking, HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHA).

Last week, I paid one of my regular visits to Heather late at night whilst she was sleeping. She was posed a series of questions, testing not only her intelligence, but also how smart she is and her IQ and if she is not dumb and if she is bright. If this ever gets made into a TV movie, I want Dan Ankroyd to play me and Tiffany Amber Theissen to play Heather. Jon Lovitz will play the portly chambermaid.

Alex: "What sound does a dinosaur make?"
Heather: "Moo."
Alex: "Do dinosaurs eat people?"
Heather: "I don't see why not."
Alex: "How old before they eat people?"
Heather: "About one."
Alex: "Are you grown up?"
Heather: "I think so."
Alex: How old were you when you grew up?"
Heather: "Seven... Can I go to the bathroom?"
Alex: "No, there's dinosaur's out there."
Heather: "I can handle them." (scurries to the bathroom in a stupor)

Then, a few nights ago, Heather was left sleeping on the couch with the TV on, one of her favorite little games because she knows I will have to come and rescue her to bed once I am ready to join her unconscious reality. So, I figured maybe I should experiment with my new camcorder a little. This is the result:

Gore'd

Today, Heather and I got Gore'd in Regina. For 50$ each, we saw perhaps the most engaging presentation on earth by a guy who is supposed to be tired and lame. I thought that not only did he know his shit and present it well, he was able to add some nifty humour to a serious subject.

I was afraid it would be a total regurgitation of the movie, but it felt like at least 90% of it was new to me (or at least forgotten since I saw the movie). So I wasn't bored, and it is nice to see such a concise presentation on the science, effects, and future of global warming, in such a way that Cletus and Jimmy Bob (and Heather) could understand.

Serious?

Um, perhaps I should stop second guessing 1080p, this sounds like a pretty tempting reason to spend extra cash that I don't have.

Halo 3 to support True (not upscaled) 1080p at 60fps?

for Matt

10% finders fee?

Break.com

for Ryan

Master Chief is a...

Are you a geek? Loser? Nerd? Then you're going to love this. It's got everything you could ever want in a movie: see it here.

Duck it

These things are hilarious! I don't know where they come from, but me likey. I only ever saw the Ryan Smyth one where he bashes Conklin. These are GOLD I tells ya.

ALERT! ALERT! ALERT!

Joel, there seems to be some competition out there. To see what I'm referring to, wait until the end of this fully educational video about understanding females.


What I Learned From Porn - Click Here for more great videos and pictures!

Related: I don't know if this is serious or not, but check THIS out.

Furthermore, there is a band!

And a book!

Out of the Red

Please God let this be true. From TSN's Ice Chips...

Redden's role on the team has diminished and there are now rumours circulating that the blueliner could be on his way to Edmonton in the off-season. Those rumours are being fuelled by the fact Oilers coach Craig MacTavish and head scout Charlie Huddy have made appearances during the series.

The Oilers have needed a defenseman of this caliber ever since what's his face ran out of town carrying his wife's luggage. Don't get me wrong, their offense was brutal this year too, but Hemsky and Stoll were hurt for long periods of time, and of course Smytty was gone at the end, so their offensive output was probably right on par with what they had. Now if they can just trade Torres for someone who is more consistent offensively and get Smytty back (it won't happen), things would look alright for next year.

Sheva miss

I always thought Andriy should have stayed in Milan.


This should have been him, continuing his legacy.

The landlord

Hilarious clip of Will Ferrell fighting with his landlord.

The mommy part at the end is killer.

Duncan Ejection

Not so funny anymore, is it wise guy? But seriously, Tim Duncan is a gentleman, especially in bed. Trust me.

It was the leperchaun

Yogurt

Are you ready for some yogurt? A Monday Afternoon yogurt party? We got Alex and spoon and cup, we're going to get it all stirred up. My mouth is all set, everyone's got a spoon. Cause all my rowdy friends are here for Monday afternoon. BOOM! Doodoo doo doo doooooo...

I've been leaving my yogurt for a snack later in the afternoon instead of eating it with lunch. It's good today, because I gots strawberry. I never get sick of yogurt, unlike all those snack bars out there. Fruit leathers, nature valley, regulars, and now even the thick fruit leathers have all fallen out of favour. But man, yogurt, that shit is for life.

Fell Adrunk

I'm going to coin a new term: "fell adrunk." It is the process of unexpectedly becoming very drunk, though upon reflection, the result is quite expected.

Last night, I most expectedly fell adrunk. In hindsight, I only had a muffin to eat all day while helping Heather's sister move, then drank 4 Corona's before supper. And so it began. Its hard to say at what point I fell adrunk per se, because by the time I got to Ryan's, I was way past sober. I suppose I can look back and say, with no food in my system starting out and a smallish supper, I didn't need to drink 13 beers. But, you know what they say, hindsight is... a bitch. Maybe I should coin that too.

Halo 3 dissection

Well, with Halo 3's new multiplayer preview now available, now comes the dissecting of everything that was presented in it. Here is an article that highlights 19 things that may not have occurred to you as you watched the preview. Hopefully the single player gameplay does not suffer too much due to this emphasis on multiplayer (though multiplayer is clearly where it is at).

Hits hurt

In honour of Alex Burrows of the Canucks getting his head smacked into the glass last night and forgetting how to skate, here are some of my favorite concussive moments. The Stevens package is pure gold, but the quality is pure shit (sorry). Watch at 1:39 for my favorite, Scott Stevens rams Ron Francis who was like 56 years old at the time and Francis attempts to use his arms to paddle back to the bench.

Bears and Balls: Home

Pertaining to Heather's sale of her rental home, I think she should follow Steven's advice to the T. Put it up for 10,000$, let the market decide. That's what economist's call...

Halo 3

I found some new info on Halo 3 pertaining to multiplayer today. There is a video on Bungie's website that details some of the new gameplay and features. Enjoy.

Vid Downloader

Ever wanted to download Youtube or Break.com videos? Maybe Pornotube (whatever the hell that is)? Well, heres a link to a downloader website that lets you download any of the videos you view on these websites. It's called www.viddownloader.com. Now you can save your favorite videos of Renetto and Lonelygirl15 (those are from youtube, not pornotube Coulman!)

Hey KD!

Thanks Nato. This, coupled with the Islander win yesterday, really brought my spirits up.

Belfour

I look at this and think "this guy is a pro hockey player?" Ed Belfour belongs in a bar somewhere, not on the ice. And it sounds like retirement is going to be a fairly easy process for him.

From Sportsnet...

MIAMI BEACH, Fla. (AP) -- Florida Panthers goalie Ed Belfour was arrested at a popular South Beach bar early Monday after a scuffle with a police officer.

Belfour and teammate Ville Peltonen were at the bar when security guards from the club asked police to make Belfour leave, police said.

WOW!

Here's an awesome idea for whoever designed rinks in the 1980's. Don't have the opposing teams dressing room hallway lead past the opponents bench. Just a thought. Go Habs.

Top Ten N64 Games

I would have had Perfect Dark in there, maybe San Fransisco Rush, but that's just me. But to omit MarioKart 64? That's a sin.

http://www.gamefaqs.com/features/top10/1068.html

Chelios

I'll respect the fact that he is a senior citizen playing in the NHL. Other than that, he can go and take slap shots in the nuts from his boy toy Holmstrom.

From Sportsnet...

(CP) - At 45, Chris Chelios is the old man of the NHL, but don't look for the Detroit Red Wings defenceman to match Gordie Howe's record of skating in a playoff series at 52.

"I was with Gordie Howe two weeks ago and I promised him I'd quit at 51," Chelios said Wednesday on a conference call. "I don't want that. He's Mr. Hockey."

Still, the 23-year NHL veteran will set one longevity record next week when he appears in the NHL playoffs for a 22nd year, passing former Boston Bruins' great Ray Bourque's mark of 21 years. Howe played in 20 playoff years, the last in 1980 with Hartford.

1989

Can this be considered NSFW? Probably. It's a bunch of classic Nintedo games that you can play right in your browser. Other than the keyboard controls, this is pretty cool.

http://nintendo8.com/toplist/

GTA IV

Wow, the graphics are even better than I thought.

Maple Laughs

It's snowing, this should cheer everyone up.

Iginla v. Mitchell

You know the playoffs are getting close when Iginla starts dropping the gloves like a rabid dog. Hope he's been drinking his milk. I would just HATE to see him break his hand.

Welcome to Hicksville

Wow, if ever there was a case to NOT tour the Junos around the country, I think it was made very, extremely, turbo clear last night. I mean, it couldn't have started any better, flying Nelly Furtado in on wires and then her freaking out and being demanded to be put down and cutting the music. HILARIOUS! Was there even a dress rehearsal? I cant' wait until it shows up on youtube (I was lazy last night), but it will sometime, and I'll put it up. She told someone not to look up her dress! Ryan's convinced it was staged as part of the show. Well if they wanted to make us look like incompetent Juno stagers, they succeeded with grandeur.

From the Star Pheonix...

On her high-flying entrance she commented after the show that she "was scared at the last minute but I got a lot of support from the audience."

From CTV...

"You're beautiful, Saskatoon!" she sang, in a slightly modified version of her song "Like a Bird." She then jokingly flew into a banner.

Bullshit! If the acrobatics nonsense wasn't enough, there was certainly plenty of other technical failures light up the evening, teleprompter slow scrolling (which seemed to be the only problem at last year's Junos), music cutting out when it shouldn't, Nelly looking confused and talking to her ear piece... It goes on and on. Props to Gord Downie for bringing his own cue cards.

Quote of the Junos goes to Heather's aunt, who was in town from BC for the event. She said it would be so refreshing to have Nelly Furtado as the host instead of the blond ditz Pam Anderson. Then after the pre-Awards gala on Saturday night and hearing Nelly accept some awards, she quickly changed her mind: "she's even worse." And it's true! Last night, if you closed your eyes, you wouldn't know if you were listening to Pam Anderson or a 16 year old.

And what is with Nelly's album? She gives birth (to a baby of all things) and then her next album is names loose?! Is this a not so subtle hint as to the physical changes she has undergone? Or is it more related to her new sexual lifestyle revealed in her hit single "Promiscuous"? Whatever it is, I would say you could probably find a classier Juno host passed out in a back alley somewhere.

The music was good and its good to acknowledge Canadian music, but this awards show, with all the hype and advertising and Nelly/Pam and e-talk red carpet needs a gong, badly.