L.O.S.E.R.

The L.O.S.E.R. (Life Of Sastisfaction Expectation Ratio) equation measures your need for a life coach as defined by Dmitri Martin on The Daily Show.

The equation is :
((age when moved out) x (age when lost virginity) + square root(net monthly income)) /
(number of cats you have + 1)

I think, however, that the equation would be better rearranged and more meaningful as:
(age when moved out) x (age when lost virginity) /
square root(net monthly income) - (number of cats you have)

My modified L.O.S.E.R. value is 6.2

What's yours?