Halo 3 multiplayer beta action

I don't know why it always looks like they are jumping on the moon. Maybe gravity is a setting.

Punk'd!

Sorry Joel, you got Punk'd big time, buddy!



DUDE! Look at that! You're so 1 penny short. HAAHAHHAHAH.

Here's Joel's current progress:
https://secure.ccfcfindthecure.ca/...

June

You know what I just realized? There is no long weekend in June. How long have things been going on like this? I thought the great thing about working in Canada was that there is a long weekend every month during the summer. Well apparently not! This just hurts my soul.

On a related note, I'm about a weeks short of holidays for what I want to take off in the first two weeks of July. How about that. It means I will need to work more than one extra day a week in June to make up for this. I'm not sure that is going to fly. What is a man to do?

Cooper's Hill rolling cheese race

This needs to be an official sport. And it might be the only one that you would be required to be legally drunk to participate in. How some of these people get up afterwards and keep running, I don't know. Alcohol is amazing.


Coopers Hill Cheese Rolling - Watch more free videos

Inevitably there are injuries to competitors, the highest toll in recent years was 1997, when at least 33 were injured, resulting in the cancellation of the 1998 event due to concerns over competitor and spectator safety.

Spiderman 3

Sucked!

Our 9:40PM entrance to the movie translated to a 12:11PM exit, so for those of you who don't do math, that is like 9 and a half hours of bullllllshit.

My favorite part of the movie was when Spiderman comes to save the day and just happens to glide by this giant American flag in the middle of nowhere. Sam Raimi, you are a cheesy bastard.

And like WTF? A guy with superhuman powers just happens to get taken over by an alien blob to give him a different persona of superhuman powers? And at the same time a Sandman gets created? And at the same time the Green Goblin is attacking everyone? Speaking of the Green Goblin, since when can humans withstand a grenade going off right beside their head? That guy should have died like 3 times in that movie instead of just once. And somehow that stupid giant sand monster was destroyed temporarily by a few bottle rockets, but powerful grenades to the head? A few burns is all. And after the Goblin hit his head the first time, I'm pretty sure he was just mentally retarded for a while, grinning away like an idiot.

And the comedy?! Don't even get me started. Cheesiest blockbuster movie crap around. They had to interrupt the main battle sequence for a poor JJ joke moment with a little girl about buying her camera. And Topher Grace should not attempt to act ever again. He should just re-start the 70's Show and live out the rest of his life there.

And if Toby Mcguire ever wears eye liner ever again, I'm going to kick him in the neck.

That is all.

Gold

Last night I experienced (for the second time ever) a GW Extra Gold bottle of luscious fine ale. It's not even a beer, really. It's more of a classy wine. I feel more refined just for having shared it with myself... in about an hours time.

If you are not familiar, GW Extra Gold is a 1.18L 9% mother beer, I mean malt liquor, I mean wine. I'm not sure exactly what malt liquor actually is, but I was told that is the beer left over at the bottom of the boiling or fermenting tanks or something that collects all the cleaning chemicals for extra deliciousness. In any case, last night it wasn't as strong as I remember it tasting and it went down nicely. Turns out it should be called: GW Extra Drunk.



One of these bottles is equivalent to 1180mL/355mL = 3.32 9% cans of beer, or 6.64 cans of 4.5% alcohol beers. Drunktastic.

Beautiful GTA IV Screens

get a load of this!

back to business

Dog Humps Duck - Watch more free videos

Top Ten Reasons to Sit Down while Pissing

As you may be aware, I posted that it was required for me to start sitting down to take a piss while I had my few weeks of dizziness back in February/March. Well, truth be told, this had been going on for quite a while and continues to. But just a warning for you slow ones out there, Coulman, this doesn't apply to urinals. Feel free to join my organization, S.W.A.M.P.A.G. (Sitting While Average Males Piss Advocacy Group). On to the top ten:

10. Frees your hands to do things like read a magazine or eat a burrito
9. Splash, spill, or miss is impossible8. Assuming you are a gentleman, there is no toilet seat to raise or lower
7. Gives your legs that much needed break after playing video games or watching TV
6. Allows you to get in touch with your feminine side
5. It is an excellent segue to the possibility of a #2
4. It is much safer to pass out while urinating while you are seated
3. It is how you learn when you are 2 (or in Brad's case, 4)
2. Easier to control morning stiffness
1. You can watch TV!

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		V

Just a tad of swerve

Ninja goal

TV F-bombs

Brad, you should like number one, it's your hero.

http://www.uber.com/fbomb

Rick Nash

He was being fin-raped from behind, but still manages to score an amazing goal to seal the World Championships for Canada. Beautiful.

David Blaine NBA Commercials

These are kind of amusing.

Rick James Bible, Bitch!

Where can I get me one of those?


Prank Call To Christian Show - Watch more free videos

So Wrong

Yet so, so funny.

Oops?!

Must be Keri Ferguson's Asian cousin. Live TV is a bitch.


NBA Reporter Freudian Slip - Watch more free videos

And the history...

Buffet Champion of .... Wednesday

In a sport that I would be reluctant to join (due to the hypocrisy of trying to lose weight at the same time), the results are in for today's Smiley's buffet pre-to-post weight-in.

Blair = 3.6 lbs
Kevin = 3.2 lbs
Ryan = 3.2 lbs
George = 2.6 lbs
Darrell = 1.8 lbs

How come the smallest guy always wins?

These guys might consider joining the IFOCE, though keep in mind the safety regulations, specifically...

The IFOCE is against at-home training of any kind ... do not try speed eating home

Willis on TSN

Interview any drunk man, and I'm pretty sure this is just what you can expect.


Bruce Willis Drunk At NBA Game - Brought to you by Break.com Video Search

plus, wicked Halo 2 double kill:

Halo 2 Double Kill - Brought to you by Break.com Video Search

Rome by air

Ryan, this guy should be your hero.


Autistic Man Draws Near-Perfect Panorama of Rome - Brought to you by Break.com Video Search

Óleifr Steadymouth's Drunken Mysteries

This is the first installment of Óleifr Steadymouth's Drunken Mysteries, my viking name according to some random google'd website. I hope to post many a drunken rambling / cognitive understanding of the universe here as part of Oleifr's new recognition of the world around him. And here we go.

It struck me recently as to the differences between the wife's Samsung A6660 cellphone and mine. I've tried to keep mine in viking condition: ratcheted up in manly fashion. However, my seldom vikingish wife has chosen the pristine point of view and kept the cellphone out of, not only good wear 'n tear, but effective use (she likes to prevent the usefullness of the cellular nature by keeping the battery uncharged). But I digress, she is a good wife and she has hunted many a meat for her king. Her penance shall be forgiven.

So, onward viking soldier, here lies the use and misuse of the cellular pik-axe:





The wife likes to sleep after a long day of hunting:

Force Feedback Mouse

from Gizmodo...

it is aware of the user's mouse gestures and can either do nothing, attract the mouse to a new position, or it push away from its current position.

I can think of some AWESOME ideas for a force feedback mouse. How (not?) cool would it be when you are playing a first person shooter to have your mouse shake when you are getting tagged. It would make it harder for the guy getting shot to respond with return fire, which I imagine it would be in real life when you are getting shot in your person.

Return to respectability

Britney Spears is a officially a prostitute/stripper, there is no other explanation. How much did that guy have to pay to sit there?!

Royal Sampler Poker pt. 3

Saskatoon - AP. In the end, Skill won over mediocrity in the Royal Sampler Poker Night (pt 3). Alex battled through a regular field of 8 other opponents to finish as expected, in first position. Contributing greatly to his winnings were Shannon and Kevin D, who splashed away in the re-buy period to drive up the pot like the Saskatoon housing market. After a tough night's work, Alex walked away with winnings in excess of 64.99$. Full results as follows:

1> Alex - won 65$ ......... 11$ buy-in
2> Brad - won 30$ ......... 11$ buy-in
3> Shannon - won 14$ ...... 21$ buy-in
4> Kevin D ................ 21$ buy-in
5> Ryan ................... 15$ buy-in
6> Nathan ................. 7$ buy-in
7> Blair .................. 7$ buy-in
8> Kevin C ................ 7$ buy-in
9> Brent .................. 9$ buy-in

If the results were plotted on a graph, the general trend would be that the more you buy in, the more likely you are going to finish at the top. So clearly those who excel in the buy-in period need to start getting a little crazy and going mental with their chips. Better luck next time.

Sportscenter Highlights:

Halo 3 Orgy of Videos

There was an orgy of videos earlier, but youtube seemed to have removed them. This one was still working when I first watched it.

Portable turrets and lifts

Hilarious Colbert Out-takes

Sorry Heather...

Coming to a galaxy near you...